Playing A Game Bionic Commando (2009) X360

Four hours later, the credits roll. So I'd estimate about 6-10 depending on how fast you swing, and how much you care about the hidden collectibles (hint: you don't, unless you are desperate for gamerscore). Not bad, for what is now a budget game - but the pacing is, unsurprisingly, all wrong. The game's story goes from zero to 60 in the last hour, and you'll swear it's about to end twice (and be wrong both times) before it actually does.

Also, the ending shows a hidden message in morse code. What the fuck? Translated, per the Interweb, it not-so-subtly implies that Grin was planning on a sequel before they went under.

Notwithstanding the shoddy story, and some of the worst dialog this side of an Uwe Boll movie, the gameplay can also be somewhat uneven. I've mentioned the deadly water and magic radiation clouds already, which become less common as the game proceeds, but still pop up every now and then. Similarly, I didn't have a problem with the game's checkpoints most of the time, but I did encounter a couple more instances in which I was forced to repeat myself, due to them being way too far apart.

But when the game isn't killing you inexplicably, or assaulting you with its ridiculous excuse for a plot, it can actually be quite fun. Combat against tougher enemies gets rather hectic; throwing things around with the bionic arm is a blast; and at its best, the arm-swinging makes Bionic Commando feel like Prince of Persia with a grappling hook. Awesome.

Somehow I haven't yet mentioned the game's music, which is great. I'm not a big fan of the slow piano theme at the title screen, but the rest of the soundtrack is tense, high-energy stuff that really enhances the fuck-shit-up feeling of combat and arm-swinging. And the graphics are mostly great, but fall short in a few areas (characters can look dumb close-up, explosions look like a quick photoshop job).

All in all, Bionic Commando does its main job well, and is pretty good for what it is. But it has enough gameplay quirks to keep it from being an all-around good game, and the story makes me wish they just hadn't bothered writing one at all.

Progress: Finished on Normal

Rating: Good