Kane & Lynch: Dead Men

Wow! This game is frustrating.

I think we can all agree that Kane & Lynch has a great premise - a squad-based shooter, in the context of bank robbery and other high-action crimes, would be a fantastic experience. And if it was bolstered by a gritty, Hollywood-style story, even better! Unfortunately Dead Men delivers on none of this.

The first thing you'll notice about the game, and arguably its greatest failure, is the controls. It's just damn near impossible to do anything in Kane & Lynch. Movement is shoddy; aiming is terrible. The auto-cover system never works when you want it, and always gets in your way when you don't want it. Checkpoints and goal locations are rarely as easy to get to as the mini-map has you believe. And AI is absolute shit, which compensates for your inability to shoot effectively, but makes the set pieces fairly dull and disappointing.

This much I pretty much knew going in, but I at least expected the story and dialog to make the game seem worthwhile. Nope! The background plot might be good, but I have trouble saying for sure, because the game is having a hell of a hard time telling it. Characters refer matter-of-factly to their dark pasts, almost never mentioning any interesting details. I can make inferences about what's happened to them, but the game script does nothing to make me feel engaged or intrigued. Kane, Lynch, and everyone else only really seem to care about the immediate present - which amounts to nothing more than terrible shooting.

My buddy and I got halfway through the game in a (short) sitting, so we owe it to ourselves to finish it off. But it's going to have to work pretty goddamn hard for any sort of redemption.

Progress: Breaking some assholes out of prison