Assassin's Creed II
Throughout the first three "memory sequences" - and the present-day introduction that preceded them - I was, in so many words, upset by Assassin's Creed II. Not with the game itself, really, but with the Internet, which claimed that this game was one of the best of 2009. Frankly, unless the ending includes a giant novelty check being delivered to me by lingerie models, that's false. I can name at least half a dozen titles from last year that are better (unless, you know, lingerie models).
I described the first game's finale as fucking awful, and the beginning of AC2 picks up right where that left off: with an absolutely unbelievable, bullshit story, and vapid characters with dialog ripped right out of an insipid Hollywood summer blockbuster. Then the game plunges you into the Italian Renaissance, and attempts to make you care about even more poorly-written characters who never quite make it all the way to a convincing Italian accent.
Interestingly, after four full memory sequences, I have yet to return to Desmond in the present-day setting. Clearly, AC2's writers realized that no one gives a shit about the franchise's over-arching plot, and are gradually writing it out. Fantastic.
The first three sequences are largely slow, plodding set-up, introducing the cast of characters and the game system (although AC2's controls tutorial leaves much to be desired, and if you haven't played the first game you'll probably be screwed for a while). And although the game is more story-driven this time around - no more doing odd-jobs around the city to unlock an assassination mission - the core game still doesn't really feel like it's been substantially polished.
It's more possible, now, to defeat an enemy without counter-attacking; but it takes about ten times as long. Climbing is still basically fun, but there are still plenty of places for it to screw up and throw you to your doom. Blending in with crowds is easier, but just as boring. New mechanics, such as equipment shops and hire-able mercenaries (and thieves, and whores!), are welcome additions to the game; but don't change much. Buying a group of prostitutes to distract armed guards is extremely effective, but isn't necessarily useful in the game's more tense moments.
Basically, up through sequence 3, AC2 is the same game with a few changes -- some for the better, some not. And instead of slowly building up a terrible story, it assaults you with awful writing from the moment you start the game. But that gets easier to forget as the game drifts further and further away from the Abstergo bullshit.
And then, at the end of sequence 3, leading into 4, I realized something: while AC2 isn't necessarily fixing the problems of its predecessor, it is adding some neat new stuff. Like the Villa Auditore, which puts a Tycoon game into the mix, allowing you to build and upgrade town assets. And the assassin tombs, which are Prince of Persia levels; I'm 100% certain that they were actually designed by the PoP team, perhaps for a PoP game.
I'm still miffed at the Internet for trying to tell me that AC2 is the second coming of Christ. As with so many other big-publisher AAA franchise entries, I'd bet most review scores were decided before the game was even playable. But, like with the first Assassin's Creed, I think I'll be able to wring some fun out of this despite its flaws.
My God, though. The story is so stupid. Michael Bay would look down on this shit.
Progress: Finished Sequence 4