L.A. Noire

There's a question that's been plaguing me since Homocide desk: who was this game made for?

For the GTA fanatic, who likes the freedom of playing around in a large city -- certainly not; there's nothing to do in the city, aside from follow the story, scrounge up a handful of side-cases, and scavenger hunt for some incredibly minor collectibles (city landmarks, hidden vehicles, hidden film reels). The "Streets of LA" mode gives you the chance to drive through the city without major cases dogging your heels, and I can't imagine a more boring use of the stupidly expansive game map.

For the fan of clever writing and intrigue -- I hesitate to say so, since while the basic plot is pretty alright (especially in the last desk, as the bigger story come into the fore), the fractured storytelling you get from partially-flubbed interviews leaves much to be desired; with missing information mysteriously re-appearing, and witnesses, suspects, and even yourself completely overreacting in dialog. If you deviate at all from what Bondi wants you to do (which is easy, since it's frequently not intuitive or logical which choice is the "correct" one), the result is broken storytelling, which destroys the illusion.

For the old-school adventure game player -- maybe, as LA Noire is in many respects a three-dimensional take on the point-and-click adventure, with a thoroughly researched setting and some throwaway action sequences. But finding the right clues can require as much trial-and-error as the most irritating adventure games, with the modern equivalent of "pixel hunting" in clues that are visually indistinguishable from the environment, which you'd have no chance of finding if not for the controller rumbling as you get close.

For the movie- and book-buff who likes a detective story but doesn't play video games -- I think this is it. LA Noire clearly shows an intent to deliver on an amazing premise, of fully immersing you in a hard-boiled detective story in 1940s Los Angeles; someone who doesn't know better might ignore all the executional missteps I've complained about, and think, "You know, these cute little video games are doing something really impressive here." What they wouldn't realize is that LA Noire isn't testing the limits of the modern videogame: all the mistakes it makes - an over-large game world, a dearth of in-game activities, the disconnected dialog, and all the minor annoyances - aren't just solvable problems, but have been solved in many other modern games, some of which are even commonly regarded as poor.

That's my cynical opinion: that LA Noire was made by rookies for an audience that doesn't know any better. My more generous offering is that, maybe I'm mostly frustrated with it for the same reason I was frustrated with the first Mass Effect: although I was given a strong yoke on the main character, I wasn't able to direct him (specifically, in conversations) quite as I wanted, and often found myself yelling at the TV for being an idiot. And because I like GTA, and LA Noire is like GTA with all the criminal hijinks flavor sucked out of it.

So, in the best case, this game wasn't for me. I really feel like it shouldn't be for anyone with discerning tastes, but the internet vehemently disagrees. Anyway, now I can put another piece of criminally overrated garbage behind me.

Better than: Monkey Island 2
Not as good as: Alpha Protocol, no joke guys
If they sequelize it: polish up the conversations, and throw in a ton of side-quests, maybe I'd be interested

Progress: Complete