A dish best served cold ... or, not at all

When, mere minutes ago, I effused about the quality of Mass Effect 2's character-centric storytelling, there was an implied asterisk. The Legendary Edition package was my first run with DLC character Zaeed, and he sucks.

Not in gameplay terms - I mean, as a soldier, he seems fine I guess? - but his "grizzled old mercenary" personality never evolves past a flat stereotype; his backstory-revealing mission is narratively and mechanically uninteresting; and his conversations with Shepard aren't really complete.

I should be clear: when Shepard talks with other crew members, they often both talk, to each other. In contrast, Zaeed mostly talks at you. (Spoiler alert, so does Kasumi.)

Mass Effect 2 is at its best when you're learning more about its characters and probing them for fun reactions. Zaeed is ... not Mass Effect 2 at its best.

It's not that he or his loyalty mission are "bad" -- they're just bland.

Better than: Borderlands 2: How Marcus Saved Mercenary Day, Mass Effect: Bring Down the Sky
Not as good as: Borderlands 2: Sir Hammerlock vs. the Son of Crawmerax
If the Collectors had forced me to sacrifice a crew member: it definitely would have been Zaeed.