Playing A Game Saints Row: The Third Remastered PC

A decade later, Saints Row: The Third Remastered still feels pretty good.

In many ways, it's surprising how ahead of its time the original release was. From its character creator with gender-unlocked voice options and equal-opportunity genital sliders, to its unflinching embrace of anti-hero cynicism and moral neutrality; the Saints may be homicidal monsters but they're likable, and the game's avant-garde material still plays well in today's social climate.

(Arguably, its use of prostitutes in activities and as NPCs could be a little less sexist, i.e. it could use some male whores. But the game is already pretty sex-positive!)

The open world of Steelport also remains a blast to cause trouble in, despite shoddy car handling and uneven aiming controls -- you can still suplex pedestrians, hijack cars by leaping through their windshields, and zap helicopters with a VTOL jet. And those are what's important, after all.

"Taking over" the city is still a ton of fun, even though modern sandbox expectations make Steelport's list of activities feel a little lacking. Between formula re-use - like, Snatch and Escort are pretty damn similar - and an overall low number of optional objectives; plus how hidden and confusing the Assassination and Vehicle Theft diversions are... I mean, I still enjoyed coloring Steelport purple, but its side-content is a far cry from Tsushima's or even Skyrim's.

And there are some opportunities for gameplay polish that, I think, maybe this remaster could have taken -- like the radio's small track list, missions that take too long inbetween checkpoints, the high cost of endgame upgrades (and/or the tedium of accumulating cash), and how mobs of enemies can sometimes grow into an infuriatingly large swarm (especially in the zombie mission).

So, sure, time hasn't left Saints Row: The Third in quite the shape I recall from 2011. But it still holds up pretty damn well, it's still fun and crazy, and the remaster has it looking gorgeous even by modern standards.

Better than: Agents of Mayhem, Red Faction: Guerrilla Re-Mars-tered
Not as good as: Saints Row IV, I just honestly miss running up buildings like a superhero.
I don't care if they drop Shaundi, and Johnny Gat, et al: in the upcoming reboot -- Volition just needs to recapture this sense of zany fun, and fill the new map with hectic, destructive activities.

Progress: 98%, conquered Steelport.

Rating: Good