Of course I wanted to play Ico, especially after being mostly-impressed by Shadow of the Colossus. But my game disc wouldn't work in my PS2 (which I later found out was because the PS2 CD reader is a real piece of shit), and my experience trying to emulate the game was pretty uneven, so I basically gave up. Fast forward to present day, and the PS3 HD remake has given me another chance! So I let my buddy take a stab at it first, since he hasn't played Ico yet either, and ... now I'm pretty lukewarm on it.

To be frank, Ico's basic dungeon-roaming and puzzle-solving gameplay has become rote and routine, today. Which would be fine, if not for its unique and/or antiquated annoyances of escorting the dumbass Yorda around (yeah yeah, I know it's the whole point, but that doesn't make it any less irritating) and poorly-placed checkpoints that end up forcing a lot of depressing repetition.

I'm sure this would have been great, ten years ago, or even five years ago; but today, this just doesn't meet my expectations, and I don't think I have the patience for it anymore. Sorry, Ueda-san.

Progress: Gave Up

I've been maintaining a tepid interest in this uniquely fascinating game even through its thoroughly underwhelming reception. And I was about to jump onto its current Flash Deal on Steam, but thought it prudent to sample the demo first. Now I'm glad I tried it.

It didn't help that Binary Domain's demo doesn't explain vital controls at all. A party member asks for my advice, and I'm supposed to answer with voice controls? No, let me use buttons or keys ... but which key shows me what to respond with? (Hint: it's Tab.) Of course, if I take too long to respond, the conversation ends with everyone disappointed and upset. Then I get into a firefight, but I ran out of ammo, I need to switch weapons ... how the hell do I do that!? (Hint: number keys 1-4.) Meanwhile my teammates are yelling at me for support, but I don't know how.

I also couldn't find any option to invert the look/aim control stick, which is -- I mean, come on, really? This has been a requisite standard since 1997. Fortunately the mouse and keyboard controls work well enough (although this apparently was not always the case), but if you still want to invert your mouse look, good luck with that.

Aside from the shoddy demo work, the gameplay in general also didn't feel quite right. There's a whole robust system of team interaction and trust, but your teammates are far too likely to run into your line of fire like an idiot, making them trust you less. And they bark questions at you way too much during combat, such that responding to them is more of an irritating chore than meaningful interaction.

The gunplay didn't seem very good either. Most weapons run out of ammo almost immediately, except for the standard assault rifle - which is inaccurate as hell, and has way too much kick - and the pistol sidearm, which is so weak that it's basically useless. And while it's cool how shooting different parts of the robot enemies causes armor plating and limb damage, the amount of total bullets they can absorb is just too many.

I got enough out of the demo to get a glimpse of some of Binary Domain's neat features, but also enough to see how flawed its execution was. For $15, I'll pass. Though I might take another look when it's down to $5.

Progress: Gave Up -- Tried the demo

Lollipop Chainsaw is just ... difficult to maintain interest in. Which is a bit curious, given how short the game is -- five chapters of 30 to 45 minutes each, plus a brief prologue and epilogue. But I had trouble following through with the idea of finishing the game in one sitting, or even in two sittings, because - though you might not expect it of a game where a high school cheerleader cuts up zombies with a chainsaw - Lollipop Chainsaw can be surprisingly monotonous.

It's a shame, because the high concept is great, the writing can be pretty hilarious, and the boss fights are (as can be counted on from Grasshopper) excellent. But the pom-pom/chainsaw/jump-dodge gameplay never really evolves past the first level. Well, I should elaborate: you can buy new combos and special moves, but I was never compelled to get more than a couple of them, and I only ever used one regularly. Instead I found it much more useful to spend my money on health and damage upgrades. Actually, it wasn't until the end of the game, with all three damage upgrades, that I felt my chainsaw was appropriately powerful.

At the same time, the game's economy seems broken. The amount of currency you earn in general is grossly inadequate for buying upgrades and new moves, unless you exploit the "Sparkle Hunting" multi-kill mechanic regularly -- which is unrealistic until and unless you get a number of upgrades, because corralling zombies together, as they randomly clamber around and interrupt your attacks, is just impossible. You don't get a good kill bonus unless you're taking out at least three zombies at the same time, which isn't realistic under normal circumstances.

So with the game's only (but still meager) means of increasing its depth dependent upon a basically unbalanced mechanic, combat largely boils down to dodging zombies and mashing the attack buttons. It's workable, at least when the camera is behaving itself - which is most of the time, anyway - but really feels like a missed opportunity.

Fortunately the game isn't a total waste. The game's theme and pacing get stronger in the later chapters, and what's most impressive is how well each boss's unique style - like a hippie momma with psychadelic mushrooms, and a house DJ who hops in a flying saucer - is accentuated by the perfect choice of musical accompaniment. Lollipop Chainsaw's soundtrack probably won't win any awards, but it should, because it fits the game like a glove; like no other game I've played.

The game's sense of humor, too, is pretty great, despite the overlong introduction. Bosses are pleasantly cocksure and entertaining to listen to, Juliet's family (particularly her father) is consistently hilarious, and Juliet herself is charmingly naive, but the real highlight is her boyfriend Nick's constantly depressing and flippant commentary. The writing and acting are both exemplary.

Suffice it to say, while I wouldn't call Lollipop Chainsaw a deep or nuanced game, it's surprisingly more than it appears. While the combat is definitely flawed and lackluster - and I may not have complained enough about its frequent reliance on quick-time events and poorly-implemented minigames - its other qualities are worth experiencing, even if only through watching someone else play. I can only hope that Grasshopper's next game can continue to carry their torch of bizarre but cogent theming. ... and polishes up its gameplay.

Better than: Killer7
Not as good as: Shadows of the Damned
Shame this couldn't run on the Wii: because the chainsaw QTEs would have been perfect for it.

Progress: Finished on Normal

Progressing through the campaign, the level design improves in general, as the funnel-like corridors become less elaborate and meandering. The story pacing, on the other hand, doesn't really get better at all. There are ambient logs with some background info, and a revelation or two near the end at least justifies the plot overall; but the storytelling isn't engaging and the ending isn't satisfying.

That's emblematic of Syndicate as a whole -- it shows a good hand early, but simply doesn't continue to live up to its own promise. But it isn't a bad game either. The story isn't consistently interesting, but alternating high- and low-action chapters keep the campaign moving at an acceptable pace. There are few chances to exploit the unique Breach abilities in really impressive ways, but the general shooting (and the slow-mo Overlay ability) is good enough to carry the combat just fine. There are few opportunities to explore the intricately-described game world, but the level design is nuanced enough to maintain a mild sense of wonder.

I think, with another year in the oven, this could have turned out to be a really groundbreaking game. As it is, it's a fun but largely forgettable accomplishment.

Better than: Warhammer 40,000: Space Marine
Not as good as: Red Faction: Armageddon
Really not as good as: Deus Ex: Human Revolution

Progress: Finished on Normal

My first thoughts were, is this really just some additional dialog and cutscenes? These were my second thoughts, also. My third thoughts were, do I really need to play through the whole ending sequence again to see this new stuff, hidden in the old stuff? And then my fourth thoughts were a lot like the first two.

Eventually, I reached the part where the Catalyst explains stuff, and I do appreciate that it actually explained something this time around. The new ending? Nice to have a choice, but the content is pretty meh. And I honestly didn't care enough to even watch the rest of the new stuff.

At any rate, I hope that future generations of Mass Effect 3 player will enjoy this less-retarded conclusion. It's a good thing the DLC was free, though, because it really didn't do anything for me.

Progress: Gave Up -- Watched some of it? Whatever.

Syndicate's shooting is surprisingly good, which may be a bit of a backhanded compliment but here we are. Almost immediately, the controls were a bit daunting, at least on a mouse and keyboard setup -- I got the impression that Starbreeze wanted me to have more easily-recognizable buttons in my grip, particularly for the hack-like "breach" abilities. But the shooting is solid, and even early on I'm encountering some neat weapons, like an automatic rifle that can shoot around corners and a sniper rifle with a close-range firing mode.

The "Overlay" mode, which is a combination of Batman's Detective Mode and a bullet-time-esque slow-motion, gives combat a really enjoyable rhythm. Managing the use of Overlay (which recharges over time but depletes rather quickly) keeps extended encounters from becoming tedious, while the Overlay itself provides an immensely satisfying rush of empowerment when it's available.

As for the story, it's a bit of a mixed bag. The intro was heavy on sci-fi and corporate intrigue, but since then I've only been strung along between set pieces. I'm really hoping that the plotting becomes thicker as I proceed through the campaign.

I do have to complain a bit about the level design, specifically how frequently I'm getting lost in hallways because there isn't a strong indication of where I came from or where I'm going. Unlike many other games of its ilk, Syndicate doesn't care to point an arrow toward your current goal, or highlight interactive doors or other items. Which would be fine if this was a slower-paced game, or if there was any point to exploring the levels, but it isn't and there isn't.

Progress: I'm on a train!

This is an art game, if that wasn't exceedingly obvious from the get-go. That being said, it isn't a complete waste: the writing is clever and mildly amusing, the aesthetic theme is intriguing, and the "gameplay" is -- yeah, alright, time to get real. It's pleasantly simple at first, but Sworcery rather quickly demonstrates that - depite being self-aware as a mobile game, by chopping its campaign up into bite-sized chunks - it has some difficulty grasping the concept of playability.

To wit, it makes the classic adventure-game gaffe of blocking puzzle solutions until you've walked back and forth to gather the proper dialog; it forcibly draws out story sequences to revel in its own ponderous animations; and in the boss fight of the second chapter, I kept getting hit by an instant-kill attack, several minutes into the fight, forcing me to start the entire thing over again.

These aren't necessarily horrendous mistakes, but what lies underneath just isn't interesting enough to merit wading through them. Summarily: not worth it.

Progress: Gave Up -- Finished Chapter 1

Years and years ago - or at least what feels like it - Spec Ops: The Line came out trailers blazing, with the claim that it could invigorate the art of storytelling in third-person shooters. With a premise inspired by Heart of Darkness (and a central character named John Konrad), plus the fresh and exciting setting of a sandswept Dubai, it seemed well on its way.

Several delays later, with a release date finally looming later this month, the demo makes it clear that this uniqueness wasn't enough for 2K -- they wanted what everyone else had, too. The demo content lays out a beat-by-beat set-piece based shooter campaign that any modern gamer will feel right at home in. But what the demo doesn't make clear is if that spirit of strong narrative was sacrificed, or is still lurking around. Certainly these guys aren't breaking any genre barriers with their ambient voice-overs and non-interactive cutscenes; but there are hints of a potentially compelling story in here, too.

To be fair, the gameplay isn't bad or overly trite, either. Actually I quite liked the headshot mechanic, which temporarily slows down time when you surprise an enemy with a bullet in the face -- especially useful when rushing into a hot zone. So even if the story does blow, it looks like there'll be a solid game on top of it.

Progress: Gave Up -- Finished the demo

Lollipop Chainsaw is an okay-but-not-great melee-action game, in the same way that Shadows of the Damned was an okay-but-not-great third-person shooter; serving as a vehicle for really wacky scenarios and mechanics. The combat balance seems off from the start, and awkward checkpoints combine terribly with some instant-fail quick-time-events. At the same time, this is a game about a high-school cheerleader who slices up zombies with a chainsaw, so, there is that.

I wouldn't say I've been as impressed by this game's premise as I have been by Grasshopper's other recent productions (Shadows of the Damned, No More Heroes and 2) -- the introduction is somehow verbose and light at the same time, steeped in high-school authenticity but lacking in charm. The end of the first level, though, hints at a much quirkier and more involved plot that I hope continues to flesh out.

As for the combat? Like I said, not great, but it has some cool flairs and seems mechanically solid. I haven't invested enough upgrade currency into new moves and combos yet to see how much they might change things up, but in essence it seems very dodge- and swing-heavy, which feels pretty cool. There's a definite disappointment in using the fast attack (pom-poms) as opposed to the heavy attack (the titular chainsaw), but leaping around to confuse the zombie hordes while cutting them down is definitely fun.

What irritates me the most so far, aside from the aforementioned checkpoint-QTE struggle, is how overlong the first level was. Truthfully I don't know if the game would have resumed at a checkpoint had I stopped midway through, but the hodgepodge of parking lot, corridor, classroom, and junkyard levels really felt like it was stretching my patience to soldier on.

Progress: Killed Zed

My key suddenly started working again yesterday, so I was able to put some time into Harley Quinn's Revenge -- very little time, considering the DLC is so brief. It's not bad, per se; like The Missing Link, it offers a microcosm of most of what made the main game special and fun. The writing and pacing are excellent, and the combat and puzzle density is fantastic.

But I have to re-emphasize that this mini-campaign is short. And during its brief life, there are no open-world, freeform components, nor does Robin play differently enough from Batman to make his segments feel special.

Harley Quinn's Revenge is fun and well-produced, but not vital to the Arkham City experience and maybe a little overpriced.

Better than: Red Faction: Armageddon - Path to War
Not as good as: Deus Ex: Human Revolution - The Missing Link
For the record: buying a Games for Windows Live key through Steam is still some bullshit

Progress: Complete