Playing A Game MadWorld Wii

I'd been reluctant to come back to MadWorld - afraid it would disappoint me again - but I'm glad I reconsidered. For a relatively short burst (three levels in about an hour) it was great fun, and I think I'm figuring out the rhythm of the game.

Each stage has a surprising amount of content to explore, but trying to take it all in, at the cost of ignoring nearby killing opportunities, is a sure way of not having much fun. Similarly, if you just try to kill things as fast as possible, you won't get to see all the creative and varied killing contrivances the level has to offer. The key is a compromise: playing by ear, killing what you will, and seeing where the level takes you. MadWorld is really at its best when you treat it like a homicidal playground.

In my second attempt at level 4, I discovered not one, but two areas which I'd completely missed in my first, failed run through. One was a man-sized meat grinder, with an elevator that took me to fight a dude in a giant ... turtle suit. (Bender says, "Fuck turtles!") The other was a restaurant kitchen, where I was able to toss enemies onto a conveyor belt, and have them chopped up by some sort of robotic ginsu knife.

The characters and settings are still a riot, and luckily the story - which appears to be slowly ramping its mysteries up into some sort of grand revelation - knows better than to get in the way. The tale of an abandoned city's cruel fate is visibly and neatly separated from scenes of a pimp explaining, in rhyming ebonics, how to stuff ninjas into firework launchers.

Also, while the music offended my ears at first, once I started to listen to what it was saying - it's actually pretty funny. Many of the songs' lyrics literally describe the game's graphic violence, which just sounds hilarious. Check out the lyrics, and imagine they're being sung to modern rap-styled tunes.

Progress: Level 7: Courtyard

Rating: Good

One of the most surprising things about the Ghostbusters campaign is its length. By the gold standard of Gears of War/2's co-op campaigns, this one is longer - and though there are some parts that get a little videogamey (go to the four power nodes, collect the four pieces, etc.) the story in general is still good, easily better than Ghostbusters 2 as well as most modern games. Aside from the Wii version's wacky graphics, about the only real complaint I have about the setting is that Bill Murray clearly isn't into it; he has less lines than almost anyone else in the game, and only a handful of them are really convincing.

The gameplay gets a little murkier. Gestural ghost-wrangling can be fun, but can also be frustrating, e.g. when a directional slam the game prompts you for takes a ghost out of your line of sight, or behind you, completely screwing up the camera angle. There are a few glaring bugs as well: a "Catch up to your team-mate!" mechanic would semi-frequently teleport my co-op partner or myself to completely the wrong place, and in one level in particular, one or the other of us would invariably spawn outside of the level, falling through the map forever while the other had to finish the level solo. One gets the impression that, if it hadn't been pushed to release alongside its hi-def cousin, this version of the game could have used another couple months of development polish.

It has its problems, and the mildly inventive gameplay dulls as the game marches on. Yet there is a simple joy in the mostly-destructible environments, the boss fights are atypically creative, and Aykroyd's and Ramis's story carries the whole production fairly well. If you like good comedy, you owe it to yourself to try this game out on one of its many platforms. Although I've heard that the DS one is awful.

Progress: Finished on co-op in "Gozer" difficulty

Rating: Meh

Alright. This game is super-sweet.

There are some obvious things about a DS Grand Theft Auto to be apprehensive about. No, the overhead driving and shooting are not as exciting as 3D over-the-shoulder. No, the radio does not have lyrics, or real popular songs. No, steering and accelerating with digital inputs is not as convenient as full analog controls. No, there are no hilarious voice-acted cutscenes.

Yes, there are touch-screen minigames e.g. for hotwiring some cars, and they are actually cool (they only last a few seconds). Yes, you can evade the police by wrecking their cruisers as they pursue you. Yes, you can make mad bank by buying and selling drugs, based on dealer tips and market rate information. Yes, not only are the missions short and to the point, they are also fully loaded with quick retries (trip skip). You can even re-play old missions at your leisure, if that's your kind of thing. And yes, the 2D, text-based slideshow cutscenes are actually great, not only stylistically smooth but hilariously written.

In short, Chinatown Wars is most of the things that are great about GTA, in a handheld package. And some things are actually better in this game than they've been in any other franchise entry. The pause menu, and GTA4's cell phone and GPS, have been combined into a single PDA unit, which works with the touchscreen exactly like you imagine it would. Not only can you use it to check stats, save and load (which you can do whenever you aren't on a mission - there's even an optional autosave!), read e-mail, and plot routes; you can also read trade reports based on your drug-dealing results.

No more having to drive to the AmmuNation; you can order guns from their website on the PDA, and they're delivered to your safehouse! And, and, you can turn on an option to show GPS routes on the road, as in, an arrow path in front of you shows you the way! Oh, and did I mention that there's a real website (the Rockstar Social Club) that you can sync your DS game to over Nintendo WiFi? I can check my stats at work! (As if I wasn't already bringing the game with me to work)

I'm only at the 1/8 point, with just under an hour and a half of game time, so there's still plenty of room for error. But right now, Chinatown Wars really impresses the fuck out of me. Yeah, there are some concessions in the form of translating the series' core gameplay elements of driving and shooting, but these 2D facsimilies are amazingly fun nonetheless. There's no shortage of ambient junk - and pedestrians! - for me to run into while I'm driving, and honestly, the simple targeting system in this game is at least as successful as the messy one from the PS2 entries.

Hitting a pedestrian at high speed produces an incredibly satisfying splat sound. That in itself is good enough for me.

Progress: 12.54%

Rating: Good

The bizarre, segmented areas I've complained about before, stop being an issue in the last 30-40% of the game. Then you go to Dracula's castle, and Ecclesia becomes pretty much just like every other Metroidvania game. The story - not that it was anything special to begin with - vanishes outright, save for a short ending scene. The castle is very much back-to-basics Castlevania, with a clocktower and a dungeon and a library and so on.

It's much more engaging than the lame stages that precede it, but does nothing about what I perceive as the game's statistical problems. Namely: there are too many statistics. There are ten different damage types. There are glyphs out the yin-yang, not to mention the different possible combinations used for special attacks. Each enemy has its own weaknesses and strengths, and while some of them are obvious (fire demons are weak to ice, Death is weak to light), the fact that some aren't is a real stumbling block. This is an action game, not Pokémon. Thank Gunpei for GameFAQs, or I'd still be wasting my life trying to figure out how to deal damage to half of the castle's bosses.

I also feel like a bunch of things in this game do way too much damage. With the right weapons, offense is rarely an issue, but defense is paper-thin. Walking into enemies (especially bosses) tends to remove huge chunks of your life bar. There's one boss in the castle that you have to climb on, and there's no way to tell which parts of it you're allowed to touch except by dying on it a million times. What a dick.

The pinnacle of this game's frustration is, in a late stage of a boss fight, or deep in a level trying to find the next save point, being blind-sided by something that instantly takes half your health away. Put that together with the enemies that don't advertise their weaknesses, and it's clear that OoE is a stalwart of the old-school Die And Retry game design mantra. Come on, guys. It's 2009 - you can do better.

I'm somewhat non-plussed by the replay value, too. There are a couple of extra, semi-hidden stages to play through, but the monsters do shittons of damage and there's only one save point all the way at the end, so, fuck that. There are also a bunch of dumb NPCs who send you on quests, but most of them have you grind on some enemy forever for a rare item drop, only to give you a completely useless reward. And once you beat the game, there is of course an extra mode where you play as a character without glyphs or equipment, but I really have no interest in going through the same dull levels a second time.

This isn't to say the game doesn't have its fun points. The castle is, irritating bosses aside, generally as exciting as Castlevania ought to be. It's a shame that most of Ecclesia is instead filled with comparatively boring micro-stages. And the core gameplay is fun; just seriously hampered by irritating design decisions. I wouldn't really call this a bad game, but I don't think it lives up to the previous few 2D Castlevanias.

Progress: Beat Dracula

Rating: Meh

I hate to be such a bitch about graphical quality, but the Wii version of this game's weird aesthetics kind of ruffled me, and I'm starting to get concerned about seeing early-PS2-quality visuals on my HDTV. The 360 version looks gorgeous, which I assume means that the PS3 and PC versions look great as well.

Unfortunately, that's not the only comparison I can make between Ghostbusters and Force Unleashed. While the higher-horsepower version of the game looks way better, its gameplay mechanics just aren't as fun. As awkward as using gestures to swing a lightsaber wrangle a ghost can sometimes be, it is at least more satisfying than tilting a stick and jamming a shoulder button. And - judging by the demo - despite being developed by two different studios, the hi- and lo-def versions of Ghostbusters' levels appear to have the same amount of interactive detail and engagement.

So the characters actually look right in this one, and it has a neat money-based upgrade system, to boot. But there's no campaign co-op, and the ghost-catching isn't quite as fun as on the Wii. To me, this version doesn't really seem better.

Progress: Gave Up -- Finished the demo twice

Rating: Meh

Surprise! Only one version of the new Ghostbusters game has a co-operative story mode. And it's the Wii one. I've been playing it with a buddy for a while, and though there are some rough spots, I would in general give it a solid "not bad."

The gameplay is sufficient, if generally unremarkable. Imagine a third-person shooter where your gun is a Proton Pack, and you're most of the way there. What makes it different from your average shooter is that, while some enemies are dispatched simply through unlicensed nuclear power, most have to be weakened, then wrangled, then caught - just like in the movies. This is the central mechanism of the game, and along with different Proton Pack upgrades that work well in different situations (like an ectoplasmic slime launcher that un-possesses NPCs), it's fairly well executed.

Hours in, it's still fun rolling the Nunchuk to deploy a ghost trap. On the other hand, having to knock the ghosts around with Wiimote swings is not exactly convenient. Laying waste to the environment and racking up damage charges for the city is pretty entertaining. Not being able to find the next corridor, isn't. (There's no map!?)

What makes Ghostbusters interesting is the story and dialog, not the gameplay. The writing and voice acting are excellent - a real step above average (or, hell, even good) video game fare. And the good news for Ghostbusters fans - which, if you aren't one, what the fuck is your problem? - is that the game doesn't just draw from the franchise, it adds to it with a genuinely interesting story that builds on the first movie's.

Unfortunately, utterly flat cutscene direction, and pacing issues introduced by the aforementioned navigation difficulties, really hurt the storytelling. The Wii version's bizarre cartoony visuals don't help either. Sometimes they work, but seeing a lanky Egon tower over a stout Ray just feels wrong.

I've still got a little under half the game to see, but so far it feels like a mixed bag. The story is great, but flies in the presentational ointment spoil it. And the gameplay, while passable, isn't anything radically new - at least, the Ghostbusters flavoring isn't sufficiently exciting to stand out. It all works, and this really isn't a bad game at all, but I hesitate to promote it any further than that.

Progress: "Closed" the museum

Rating: Meh

I spent a lot of time being frustrating by Ecclesia, but I finally figured it out: I need the right weapons. In the previous DS Castlevanias, numeric damage and reach were the only values of consequence to equippable weapons, but this game actually has something of a strength/weakness system, e.g. skeletons don't mind swords, but are easily waylaid by hammers. This comes out in a slightly different way against bosses, for instance the last guy I fought was basically unapproachable unless I used a particular spell that flies outward and can hit multiple times.

Now that I'm getting past the veneer of high difficulty, the game doesn't seem that special. Being able to equip two offensive glyphs sounds like it would promote variety, but really I'm better off equipping two of the same and attacking twice as fast. The new overworld organization is an interesting idea, but none of the miniature areas within it feel like they're being sufficiently exploited. And I'm already sick of the townspeople giving me quests to collect item drops and treasures. What is this, World of Warcraft?

Progress: 29%

Rating: Meh

The last section of the game takes Carl back to Los Santos, and back to the Gang War system. Taking turf from rival gangs can be fun, once you learn your way around it. But a number of foibles in the game conspire against this: Grove Street gang members you recruit for help are utterly worthless, ruining your aim and dying at the drop of a hat; the intricate urban landscape sometimes leads to your enemies spawning in, or pathing to, ridiculously out-of-your-way places; your turf comes "under attack" from time to time, creating a wholly unnecessary distraction that can run you all the way across the city. Gang wars also highlight one of the bigger balancing issues in the game - you don't have all that much health, and guns do a ton of damage, so turf showdowns (and several firefight missions, too) really just boil down to who gets in range first.

Los Santos is really the weakest of the game's three cities, with confused roadway planning and the stupid danger of being shot up just driving through rival gang territory, so it's a shame that San Andreas both starts and ends on this note. Especially in the end (mild spoilers), as the city begins to riot. Cops are everywhere, hookers start pulling pistols, cars will randomly stop, then explode. And this is when the game chooses to task you with acquiring more gang territory (in order to unlock the final mission), adding more layers of difficulty on top of an already touchy mechanic.

At times, San Andreas seemed determined to enhance the sense of suffering in my gameplay experience. I think this is mostly a coincidental side-effect of a number of design oversights, from the difficulties I described above, to the frequent messenger missions that sent me way across the map, to the dangerously-awkward flight controls (who knew landing a jet was so hard?), to lengthy and utterly unforgiving multi-phase missions. The final mission probably took me 30-45 minutes from start to finish, and a few segments of it I got through just by the skin of my teeth. If I'd had to retry it, I... well, I'm really glad I didn't have to retry it.

I think San Andreas makes some important points about sequels, adding new features, and refining existing ones. Though there was some incremental development in filling obvious holes from GTA3 and Vice City (namely swimming), a lot of the effort that went into this game was clearly in pursuit of new stuff, like character stats, gangs, and girlfriends. Sometimes this paid off in the form of new ways to have fun in GTA, but the times when it didn't were made especially frustrating by legacy problems, like fussy aiming and losing all your guns and ammo when you die. (San Andreas's unlockable for avoiding this death penalty is easier to get than in the previous games, but you still need to unlock it.) It's an interesting counterpoint to GTA4, which also added new features (like TV! and bowling!), but is more remarkable for reinventing and polishing the core game engine, to great benefit.

One last thing I want to mention is our hero, Carl Johnson. In the game's final act, he had some character development that made him relatable and likeable; but up until that point, I was utterly unsympathetic toward him and his plights. Even when he was just being bossed around by megalomaniacal gangsters and cops and latino women, Carl's character really seemed to enjoy stealing, killing, and generally inciting conflict. Sure, that's what the GTA games are all about, but while Tommy Vercetti and Niko Bellic were big dreamers who weren't afraid to get their hands dirty, CJ struck me as more interested in his means than his ends, which was ultimately less engaging for me. Maybe that makes me racist.

Anyway - in spite of the game's considerable flaws, it is fun. The missions are spread a bit thin across the entirely-too-big map, but the new stuff is entertaining, and the important parts of the GTA3 formula are still intact here. It's unfortunate that San Andreas's start, in Los Santos and Red County, is such a turn-off; but if you can get past that, there is some real fun to be had here.

Progress: Finished the story missions

Rating: Good

Yes, this game is fun again. Despite having to swim for 20 minutes to build up my stats to take a story mission; despite another mission that had me driving all the way across the map - back to Los Santos - and fail when I drove too slowly (and then again when I drove too quickly); despite dying at the tail end of a mission when I exploded, inexplicably - apparently I didn't see someone throwing a grenade in my shoes.

The incredibly ambitious scope of San Andreas amplifies the engine's shortcomings and the still-maturing mission design staff's flaws. But there's still plenty of fun in here. I finally got out of San Fierro, and I just did a mission where I drove a monster truck around the desert. This beast is probably the pinnacle of the GTA3 engine: an off-road vehicle that can actually be steered. I love this thing.

Progress: Trolling around the desert

Rating: Good

Man, this game is fun again. Now that I'm back to the occasional, comparatively middling frustrations of slippery controls and dying easily, it feels like the good old days. And now that I've got new mission spots opening up, San Fierro is a fun city to play around in - I'm saving a nerd (David Cross) from a chess opponent, escorting a blind Triad boss through his own lackeys, and trying to get in good with a pimp (Charlie Murphy) to uncover a mysterious gang conspiracy. Times like these make CJ's (my) amorality and reckless driving a real thrill again.

Progress: Running drugs for Charlie Murphy

Rating: Good