Sly Cooper has some measure of veneration among Sony-centric franchises, so I figured it would be good to check it out from the beginning. Striking me immediately was something about the presentation - the anthropomorphic character design, the cheesy tunes and environments, and most significantly, the hit-or-miss voice acting - that just made me feel apathetic about the game's characters and world. Sly Cooper is the kind of character that might be "cool" to a kid, but is not nearly interesting enough for me to get into.

As for the gameplay, it is somewhat reminiscent of Banjo-Kazooie-era platforming: small hub areas connect individual stages, each with some ultimate goal (a key), hidden collectible items (hints) to unlock new abilities, and collectible currency (coins) for one-ups. A significant difference between Sly and other platformers is that here, you've only got one HP (unless you collect enough coins or get a pickup for an extra hit), which, combined with a checkpoint system, makes dying-and-retrying no less frustrating but somewhat more frequent than in most games.

The game supposedly emphasizes some stealth element, but, as far as I've gotten, not in the way of evading enemies; what few opponents there are, are pretty much unavoidable. There are, however, some alarm systems - spotlights, laser sensors, and so on - that Sly is better off sneaking around. Combat is simple, with a single attack button and one-hit kills (at least, up to this point). Though the hubs give a degree of choice in where to go next, the individual levels are very linear, with a clear path between the starting point and the final goal.

It's not necessarily a "bad" game, with only a few things I'd really gripe about (Sly's voice acting and the dumb enemies, for instance), but thus far it just hasn't impressed me.

Progress: 7%

The good news is, I didn't gain fifteen pounds in a week after all! The bad news is, I've been overweight the whole time. As it turns out, simple laws of gravity and physics win out when the balance board is placed as-is on carpet; the included plastic foot extenders are pretty much required for any semblance of accuracy. So, while this may not bode well for my personal health, it does reassure me about the game mechanics and engineering, which is really more important to me anyway.

In general, I am impressed by the ability of Wii Fit's exercises and "balance games" to challenge me physically, not because this is hard, but because it is a video game. It's actually gotten me to try and re-try a bunch of stuff just for the sake of my own success, like skiing and ball-table-tilting minigames, where in the process I felt myself at least slightly physically stressed. I don't know if I'm going to get anywhere, but it's fairly fun.

Progress: Slightly overweight

I tried playing Vice City again recently, and it really served to reinforce my feelings about GTA4's progress. While it is basically the same game as before, it has succeeded in fixing and polishing a great deal of the franchise's issues. Going back, I found myself missing a lot - the improved map functionality, camera controls, dumbed-down police AI, not losing all my weapons after being blown up, etc.

At the same time though, it's easy to pick out things wrong in GTA4 as well: a lot of the freelance missions are gone (ambulances and fire trucks); you still lose stuff when you get busted; the limited number of weapons you can use from inside a car... in general, while I wouldn't say it's "as bad as" Madden, I feel a similar sort of effect, in that installment after installment is just slowly and incrementally working on the same formula, in a way that ensures leaving room for improvement in the next game.

Of course, unlike Madden, I find the GTA formula absolutely fun as hell. So I guess it's not too terrible that each game is just better than the one before it, and not necessarily as good as it could be.

Progress: Gave Up

On the one hand, I would never voluntarily do any sort of fitness or exercise activity if it wasn't play-monetized as it is in Wii Fit. I know it's not exactly the same as a gym membership, but when I'm staring at the TV and holding a Wiimote, twisting myself around like an idiot doesn't feel so bad.

On the other hand, I'm not totally sure about the effectiveness or accuracy of the game for practical exercise. Since I started playing (which, so far, has consisted just of doing my Body Test) I've allegedly gained weight at a somewhat alarming pace. I have trouble believing that I actually gained five pounds between yesterday morning and yesterday evening.

So, it's kinda fun, and I think I am getting at least something out of it in terms of general fitness. But I am as-yet unconvinced that it is capable of transforming me into a healthy person.

Progress: Gaining weight

The controls are sloppy and frustrating. The level design is confused and boring. The graphics are mediocre. The music sucks. The gesture recognition sucks. The "story?" Sucks.

That's about everything. Everything about this game sucks.

Progress: Gave Up -- Finished Episode 2

I feel like I just kicked the shit out of Goliath with a slingshot. Those Free Mode puzzles were like an amazing challenge and a fantastic burden at once - now I'm free.

Progress: Finished Normal and Free mode

I tried this out the other day, and the difficulty really took me by surprise. I was expecting to be able to put on a disguise and waltz through the Sicilian mafioso mansion without much trouble - but the flunkies were able to see through my stolen suit, and started firing.

Now, the cool thing about Hitman is that there's usually some freedom in terms of how much you sneak and how much you shoot. But I figure I should be good enough to stealth through at least the first mission effectively. I'll definitely be trying this again, when I have the composure and concentration for it.

Progress: Gave Up -- First hit

I've been dicking around with GTA4 at a friend's place, and driving into pedestrians and blowing up police cruisers is a shit-ton of fun. What GTA4 does right is taking the core features of GTA3 and enhancing them with stuff like a new physics engine and new AI features. But what GTA4 gets wrong is that the rest of the game - missions, a storyline, tertiary features - have not evolved at all. Some have de-volved, in fact. Crap like watchable TV channels sound nice on paper, but in a video game it's really just a waste of resources.

I'll probably pick it up when I snag a 360 of my own, but it's not enough to sell the system for me.

Progress: Gave Up

She drives like a dump truck.

Oni has mediocre concepts, and a terrible implementation (and even worse voice acting). I might come back to it if it's short enough to finish in a sitting or two.

Progress: Gave Up -- Mission 2

...dammit.

Progress: Just got the space suit