Chances are if you've heard of this game, you've thought to yourself, "Self, how does one play an action/platform game with bongo drums?" Though I've already described the technical aspect of how it is done, there is still the matter of doing it. It is unintuitive, as you have just implied in conversing with yourself, and in addition requires powers of coordination untapped by most non-rhythm games. Though the big ape is taking it somewhat easy on me even in its final throes, I can tell that I'm poor at it. Don't lie to me Donkey Kong. I am on to your little game.

Though there are no less than 16 kingdoms, each with its own boss, there are really only four bosses. One is a monkey, with whom DK exchanges fisticuffs, here it is all about the dodges and jabs. Another is a boar, who enjoys tossing melons at you, but is unable to see his own demise in your ability to kick them back. A third is a flying roc, carrying a black egg below it, which I assume contains its heart because breaking it spells certain doom for the bird. And the fourth form of boss is a mechanical elephant whose trunk has a penchant for being clogged by explosive pineapples. They are re-ordered in successive kingdom groups, and each iteration comes with slightly more difficult variations, but suffice it to say that the boss encounters are not much of the game's breadth.

Conversely, the stages are extremely diverse. At one point I fancied that they would be out of ideas, and then I found myself grabbing a bird's tailfeathers as I directed it up through a clocktower. I'm not sure where they keep their clocktowers in the Donkey Kong jungle, but apparently it is not a very safe place.

As I hinted paragraphs ago, controlling it is becoming a little trying as I approach the title's event horizon, but it is still much fun. And though I forgot to mention it before, the presentation is spectacular; contextual sound effects along with the drumming mechanic make the whole affair sound great, and it looks just awesome, from the flowing water to the hair on DK's arms and the hyperactive ninja monkeys that flit about in the rain.

Progress: 34 crests

I've been putting off this entry since the inception of the Glog over six months ago. The story of my time with WoW is one of bliss, and of sorrow; fulfillment, and disappointment; anxiety, and terror. What lay below is an account of how WoW changed my life, and how I was able to change it back.

You see, back in the before-times, I lived, breathed, and ate video games. Cruising through high school was an enabler for me to consume games at a rate some might consider bizarre. Then I graduated, received WoW for xmas in 2004, and began playing in January '05. The next two months were a blur - Mirkon, a proud engineer of the Gnomish race, became engorged of the delicious experience points from blowing up monsters in the wild, and reached the game's plateau of Level 60. Here he remained, experimenting with crafted gadgetry, exploring hidden and ominous areas, and following other pyromaniacal pursuits, until the middle of that summer when I finally decided I needed to get on with my life.

Yet Azeroth's pull on me would not so easily concede defeat. My roommate Matt, who started playing before I had (when the game was released in fall 2004), continued through that summer. He and several people I had formerly played with were now in The Raiding Game (more on this later), and though I had been apprehensive at first, I decided that winter to join them in the deepest, dankest dungeons the World of Warcraft had to offer. And thusly Mirkon toiled and triumphed (and meanwhile I fostered other characters, including a warlock to 60) until the autumn of 2006*, when I made the difficult decision of putting schoolwork before WoW and quit again. I have been clean since, and have returned to my former lifestyle, though the Burning Crusade expansion continues to tempt me at regular intervals.

What struck me the most when I started playing over two years ago - striking enough that I remember it vividly today - is how brilliant the game formula is. World of Warcraft is essentially a combination of the quick and simple action RPG gameplay of Diablo II, and the rich and enormous world environment an MMORPG can pull off. Playing the game, not just turning it on and being there, but actually enjoying it, is absurdly accessible and rewarding. And it continues to be throughout the entire game (though it helps a lot if you have friends to play with). From the snowy hills of Dun Morogh to the fiery peaks of the Burning Steppes, the rainy shores of Stranglethorn Vale, the mysterious arctic reaches of Winterspring, the barren desert of Tanaris, the lush dangers of Un'Goro Crater, and even the blighted Plaguelands, the World of Warcraft is a beauty to behold and a joy to inhabit.

Though I am wont to forget many games I have played, WoW's geography is permanently etched in my fond memories. The feeling of exploration in this world is too good for words. When roaming around the zones of the game, finding new things, even if they were only new to me, felt like a groundbreaking discovery. While a denizen of Azeroth, I made it my primary directive to simply collect knowledge about this strange wilderness, and I was both pleased and enticed with this goal for months at a time.

Don't mistake my obsession with the world as an indication that WoW is some sandbox crap. There is always something to do, thanks to the genius implementation of quests. Where other games may require a player to grind on sewer rats and birds of prey to gain levels, World of Warcraft has thousands of quests that NPCs will task you with. These quests will frequently involve slaughtering animals and other forms of evil, but many are in fact quite different, entailing a treasure hunt, or a reconnaissance mission, or a foot race. And all of these quests take you to new places, show you new things, and give you a little insight into the rich backstory of WoW, which is quite laborious.

The problem I ended up having with WoW was in the endgame, and is the same thing I hold against most MMOs, namely that the content runs out. Of course it is difficult to help this, and in fact the endgame is something that is almost constantly being worked on in monthly content updates; I have heard that it is no longer as contentious as it once was. But nevertheless, the magic simply could not last forever. When you've reached the maximum level, the game really starts pushing the Law of Diminishing Returns, and for me the fun factor just couldn't keep up with the required time investment. Some people enjoy this kind of thing but I'm not one of them.

By normal standards World of Warcraft is nothing short of amazing. Even at a retail price of $50 and an additional $15/month, the return I got on that investment in terms of number of gameplay hours easily outdoes any other game I have ever played. And I don't even tend to like multiplayer games very much. If I had to sum up WoW's flaws, I can only conclude that the game is too good: enough so to create unrealistic expectations for the game to continue, and to significantly disrupt my very lifestyle. One of these days, I intend to see what's new in the expansion.

• It was around this time that the Glog first appeared, though most historians agree that this is just a coincidence.

Progress: Gave Up -- 60 Mage, 60 Warlock (PvE)

Progress: Gave Up -- Lost interest

I've had a (financially limited) desire for Jungle Beat since its release, so imagine my delight on seeing a barely-used box - bongos included - for a measely $12! My delight was substantial. Perhaps surprisingly, the game itself is also more substantial so far than I had pictured it being.

You can play Jungle Beat with a normal Gamecube controller (if you're a loser), but the bongos make the game's unique experience even more refreshing, and are super-easy to use. Hit the left drum to go left, the right drum to go right; both at once to jump; and clap, or make some noise equivalent to clapping, e.g. hit the side of the drum, to activate Donkey Kong's heretofore underused Super Clap Attack. It is a relatively simple set of controls, which is the perfect formula for designing levels that challenge the player to pull them off in rapid sequence. DKJB is only as much of a rhythm game as Mario might be considered one, since if you miss a jump et al there is usually a way to climb your way back up, or find an alternate route.

Your score (and DK's health, though this is trivial) is measured in "beats," which are a rough reflection of your performance. In simplest terms, beats translate to the bananas you pick up in a level, but you can add multipliers to your Raw Banana Income by collecting several simultaneously and/or pulling off aerial moves, for instance jumping over a bunch of them and clapping instead of walking right through them.

Each kingdom (level) consists of two stages and a boss encounter, and the beats you collect in the stages will become DK's health in the coming boss battle. The beats you have left after the battle are used to earn crests (more beats = more crests), which are in turn used to unlock more kingdoms.

I've beaten the first four kingdoms (each one took about two to five minutes, though I did replay some for more crests), and so far haven't had any problem with the game's level of difficulty. The fourth kingdom boss, a ... mechanical elephant, was kind of a pain, but otherwise it has been great fun. I look forward to the rest of the game with drumming anticipation.

Progress: 9 crests

Aside from being the only upcoming Wii game to speak of for the next several months, Super Paper Mario is shaping up to be nothing short of an awesome game. Whereas previous Paper Marios were turn-based affairs, segueing to a battle screen on encountering an enemy, SPM is a real time, action RPG where your hit points and jumps will become more powerful as you trounce foes. There are a bevy of other features in here to be excited about, too, like more controllable characters, bizarre sidekicks, the dimension-change dynamic, and of course the wickedly humorous writing. I can't wait.

I was one of the crazy people who thought Boktai was cool, in spite of being chained to a rather clumsy physical object (the sun), so in theory a DS spiritual sequel with no solar sensor should be perfect. And on top of having the classical Boktai-style action and upgradeable weapons, it boasts two characters (one of whom has a sword), action-RPG style experience with levelling up, a ... weather system, and sweet animated cutscenes.

Unfortunately, the isometric overhead adventuring that seemed like a good idea four years ago now has its flaws highlighted. There are oversights in this design that should have been worked out as the game series progressed, but it seems largely untouched; things like enemies being hidden from view behind pillars, and awkward shooting angles.

Another thing that irks me is that there are very few stealth elements in this game - you can "whistle" (blow) into the microphone to distract an enemy, but there's no wall-tapping or slow walking to sneak around. I expected more from Mr. Kojima. Nonetheless Lunar Knights has a good deal of fun in it. The two characters (sword-swinging Lucian and gunslinging Aaron) both have a good selection of abilities, since the game is oriented wholly around combat. The space shooter levels for purifying a vampire are ... interesting, and fortunately, not frequent enough to bring the rest of the game down.

Fun fact: you can play the game without it, but, optionally, plug any Boktai cart into the GBA slot and Lunar Knights will read the accursed solar sensor for an extra boost to certain stats.

Progress: Chapter 3

Never got too hard, but as usual, Kirby is fun just rollicking around and trying out powers. Collectibles are fun; extra modes are kind of dull. Short and sweet.

Progress: 120/120

What surprised me the most starting into Squeak Squad was the awkwardness of the controls. B does not jump, it attacks! Y and A jump! SHEER MADNESS. There is also no option to change this configuration. I can get used to it after a few minutes, but it always gets me when I start the game up again.

I really like the treasure collecting system here. It's implemented very well: there's a count on each stage of how many treasures there are, and which you've gotten or haven't. The collection screen also organizes them really well, and there is a great variety of things to collect, from life-ups to new colors to music tracks to treasure maps to hidden stage keys. There are even thieving rats (squeaks) who attempt to steal treasure chests from you in-game, which is really cool.

There's nothing "wrong" with the stage structuring, e.g. there are several worlds and each one has several stages, which one proceeds through in a linear fashion. But I was really hoping they would stick with the Metroid map system from Amazing Mirror.

The touch-screen stomach system is pretty weak. It has limited space, only certain items - ones in bubbles - can be retained in the stomach, and the ability to combine items rarely pays off. Plus it empties out when you turn the game off. It's not detrimental to the game, but in execution it doesn't really add anything to it either, and what results is a fairly standard Kirby adventure with a cool collectible system.

Progress: Level 3-4, 35/120 treasures

TJ&E is one of the quirkiest games I've seen, which is only one of the reasons I think it would make an awesome DS remake. It's awkward at first, avoiding enemies rather than fighting them, and the movement seems slow. But it didn't take long for the game's general oddities to grow on me. This is one of only a few games that manages to successfully combine off-the-wall humor with working gameplay devices.

Co-op works really well, and there are some devices here that still seem ahead of their time. With one player as ToeJam and the second as Earl, if the two move more than one screen away from each other, it bisects and becomes split-screen play. When players are nearby they can also share items and health.

As an adventure game, TJ&E looks like it can be really hard and take forever (no form of game-saving here). But even if you never finish, it's worth playing just to witness the zany items and ToeJam and Earl's hilarious banter.

Progress: Gave Up -- Level 11

Some really cool side-scrolling shooter concepts are in here: neat weapon upgrades, a weird shield thing that can also dock to the ship as an offensive item, moving environments. Unfortunately, contrary to my belief before purchasing it, the two-player is not simultaneous (you take turns). Caveat emptor. Nevertheless, fairly fun for what it is.

Progress: Gave Up