I've remarked before on Diablo III's uninteresting environments:

... all of these design themes and elements work fine, but they seem lifted from Diablo II as a template, rather than originally designed from its inspiration.

... and its piss-poor storytelling:

And the fact that the plot is totally fucking stupid is still impossible to ignore. Even when skipping cinematics and story scenes, the game's dumb characters are irritatingly aggressive at showing off how silly the story is.

Still, the core loot-driven progression formula got a lot better post-launch; and I figured that this would be a compelling system for me and my dedicated co-op partner, coming off of Borderlands 2.

But I don't know what they changed since 2014 -- or if they even changed anything, maybe it's me? This game is boring, now. Normal and Hard mode, at least, are basically indistinguishable from a clicker game.

Sometimes new loot has a bunch of exciting green numbers on it, but it never changes the way that I play the game. Upgrading gear just feels rote and routine. I guess this was always true of Diablo III: even the difference between slower and faster weapons is practically meaningless for your character's abilities.

And the abilities themselves are, well they're interestingly varied, but it still doesn't really matter what I do. The thrill of unlocking a new ability tends to be dulled by the realization that the old ones - even the ones I started the game with - feel like they completely overpower all the enemies that the game can throw at me.

It feels like the current game's sense of difficulty is premised on swarms of enemies, rather than on particularly difficult tactics (like runners or teleporters or arcane-enchanted laser assholes). So I use an ability that does area-of-effect damage, and they all explode at once. It's all over in a moment.

Maybe we'll see if the "Expert" difficulty changes anything. I hope it doesn't just throw even more underpowered enemies at us.

It'd be a bit of a shame if we get completely bored of Diablo III before even making it to the new Act V.

Progress: Somewhere in the fucking desert

Counting Super Mario Odyssey's power moons is a little complicated. For one thing, some of the collectible moons are actually triple moons that increment the counter on your spaceship by 3; but they still only count as one in the list of collectibles.

For another thing, you can use gold coins to buy an infinite amount of moons. So... huh.

At any rate, there are 836 collectible moons - not counting triples! - and I got 816 of them. The majority of those, I even got without help from the interweb! And the game was really most fun when I was just wandering around a kingdom, looking for things I'd missed.

The 20 moons I've got left are from challenges that I'm deeming too fucking hard, like footraces that require mastery of difficult shortcut-enabling jumps, or the final level that doesn't have any checkpoints.

And I collected all the purple coins for special outfits, which really seems like the most important in-game accomplishment.

Yeah. Mario Odyssey is pretty awesome.

I'd been looking forward to Death Squared, thinking that it looked like a fun co-op puzzler in the vein of Pitfall Planet. Good thing I tried the demo, first.

Death Squared seems not as much to be a thoughtful, methodical puzzle game, as it is a die-and-retry, getting-punched-in-the-face kind of puzzle game.

At least in two-player mode, levels are scripted such that each player's movement basically fucks the other player over. So the solution to a level will require the Red player to move to one position, then the Blue player to move to another position, then Red to move again, and Blue, and ... so on. Moving to a non-ideal position, and/or moving while your counterpart isn't standing in the right place, will result in someone being killed and the level restarting.

Naturally, discovering these traps tends to involve being killed by surprise and having to restart from scratch.

By myself, controlling both characters with one brain, I couldn't even make it through the whole demo. I can only imagine that in co-op, Death Squared would incur even more severe coordination frustration than what drove me to give up on Kalimba.

Nine DLCs and 70-odd hours later, Borderlands 2 does ultimately run out of steam. My few remaining quests are mostly of the Raid and/or Level 50 variety - plus a few tiresomely-repetitive combat arenas - and I'm not really stoked on starting the whole game over again for True Vault Hunter Mode.

But Borderlands 2's weak transition into "endgame" is softened considerably by the incredible volume of content leading up to it. And aside from a few disappointing DLCs, that content remains commendable for its blend of engaging action, compelling loot, and genuinely funny writing and acting.

I'll probably get to the Pre-Sequel after leaving my Borderlands itch un-scratched for a few months. In the meantime, I'm still hoping for that Mr. Torgue spinoff franchise.

The previous Headhunter packs were holiday-themed. Sir Hammerlock vs. the Son of Crawmerax looks like it was going to be for Easter - there's a "fertility event" and there are a bunch of pastel-colored eggs - but then they lost interest, and dropped the holiday connection altogether.

But that's not important. What is important, is that Wam Bam Island is gorgeous. White, sandy beaches lit by a clear, bright sky, peppered with hostile pirates and crab monsters ("craboids"). Two parts of the map are connected by an underwater tunnel, which is, as we all know, the coolest part of any aquarium.

Also important: since it pulls in the whole Vault Hunter cast, the background banter is pleasant and entertaining to listen to -- a distinct strength, compared to Marcus's and Moxxi's packs. I really had fun romping around the island while Lilith fawned over Mordecai's new hunting pet.

Of course, it's still all over before you know it. But among the mostly-underwhelming group of Headhunter packs, the eye- and ear-candy definitely makes this one of the good ones.

Better than: Borderlands 2: How Marcus Saved Mercenary Day
Not as good as: Borderlands 2: The Horrible Hunger of the Ravenous Wattle Gobbler
So for those keeping score: from best to worst,

• The main game;
• Tiny Tina's Assault on Dragon Keep;
• Captain Scarlett and Her Pirate's Booty;
• Mr. Torgue's Campaign of Carnage;
• The Horrible Hunger of the Ravenous Wattle Gobbler (which, considering how short it is, is pretty good!);
• Sir Hammerlock vs. the Son of Crawmerax;
• How Marcus Saved Mercenary Day;
• Sir Hammerlock's Big Game Hunt (which, considering how long it is, is pretty bad);
• Mad Moxxi and the Wedding Day Massacre;
• And finally T.K. Baha's Bloody Harvest.

And now the Headhunter packs are up to Valentine's Day, with Mad Moxxi and the Wedding Day Massacre.

Like the previous packs, there's a single main quest that runs through the map, and a single follow-up sidequest that retreads the same ground. And, like the previous packs, it offers some brief glimpses of Borderlands 2's quality, crass humor. (There is a robot named Innuendo-bot.)

But Mad Moxxi, as the title character for this pack, really feels like she's phoning it in. The plot by itself isn't interesting, and she doesn't add any flavor to it. All she does is tell you to go to X and do Y.

The high point of this DLC is about 30 seconds worth of banter between Moxxi and Ellie.

Better than: Borderlands 2: T.K. Baha's Bloody Harvest
Not as good as: Borderlands 2: How Marcus Saved Mercenary Day
Innuendo-bot: deserved better.

Like the preceding Thanksgiving story, the Christmas tale How Marcus Saved Mercenary Day is a short and sweet tidbit of Borderlands 2 content.

The snowy holiday-themed environment is charming, if small. To its credit, unlike Bloody Harvest it isn't so large and empty that it feels painful to run through.

But, it also just isn't as interesting as Mr. Torgue's explosive feast. Marcus is an amusing character, but he doesn't drive this plot. It's more driven by an evil, Grinch-like snowman. Who you then kill.

And like the other Headhunter packs, it's shockingly short, like 30-60 minutes including both its main quest and a single sidequest.

Better than: Borderlands 2: T.K. Baha's Bloody Harvest
Not as good as: Borderlands 2: The Horrible Hunger of the Ravenous Wattle Gobbler
As a reminder: these packs released at $2.99, which feels like a stretch for less than an hour of content.

Mr. Torgue is here again to save the day!

Borderlands 2: The Horrible Hunger of the Ravenous Wattle Gobbler is a full-on redemption for the "Headhunter" DLCs, after T.K. Baha made such a mess of things.

One: It's got Mr. Torgue. SQUIBBLYBAMBLYMEEDLYMOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!

Two: It's short, but in the "skirt analogy" sense -- it's just long enough.

Three: There's a fair amount of pop-culture parody even in its brief (less than an hour) main quest. Some The Hunger Games stuff, there's a Swedish Chef, "Chef Gouda Remsay" ... okay, maybe not much. But it's something!

And four: You blow up a giant turkey. As is tradition.

... and then there's Grandma Flexington's sit-and-listen story quest, which is an enormous waste of time but is still funny in a subversive, masochistic kind of way.

Wattle Gobbler makes the case for short, funny additions to Borderlands 2. Here's hoping for more like this.

Better than: Borderlands 2: T.K. Baha's Bloody Harvest
Not as good as: Borderlands 2: Mr. Torgue's Campaign of Carnage
I really wonder: how much mileage Gearbox could get out of a Mr. Torgue spinoff game?

Well, I can take back what I might have said about Sir Hammerlock having the worst Borderlands 2 DLC. T.K. Baha's Bloody Harvest is the new low point.

T.K. Baha, even as a zombie, is an incredibly uninteresting character. His voice actor sounds bored the entire time.

There are some new enemies, in the form of walking pumpkins; but most of the DLC is filled with skeletons, who we just fought a ton of in Dragon Keep.

The main quest is dull, and once that's done, T.K. gives you a sidequest to traverse the whole map a second time. Ugh.

And even though it's shockingly short, like an hour at most, it feels too long. Like 15 minutes of content was stretched over too large a map.

This makes a very poor first impression for Borderlands 2's "Headhunter" mini-DLCs.

Better than: Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney - Spirit of Justice: Phoenix Wright - Asinine Attorney
Not as good as: seriously, Borderlands 2: Sir Hammerlock's Big Game Hunt
Please, please: let the next one be better.

Tiny Tina's Assault on Dragon Keep - between its irreverent Dungeons & Dragons parody, reunion of favorite characters, and really, actually well-crafted questing content - is a thankful return to form for Borderlands 2, after Sir Hammerlock's disappointing DLC.

It's not perfect, as some combat sections drag on a bit, and the ending is kind of a let-down. (Par for the course in Borderlands games, apparently.) But it's definitely the best post-game that Borderlands 2 has to offer.

Better than: Borderlands 2: Captain Scarlett and Her Pirate's Booty
Not as good as: the main game of Borderlands 2
But we're not done yet: I never played Bloody Harvest or the other Headhunter DLCs, before.

Progress: Finished the main quest, and almost all sidequests.