Beglitched makes a pretty good, if confusing, first impression. I liked its fish-out-of-water introduction, which explains some, but not all, of the in-game mechanics; figuring out how the game really works is part of the puzzle.

In a sense, it apes the Miyamoto magic of Super Mario Bros. -- it teaches you how to play by making you ask questions and try things, rather than telling you what you should be doing. I used observation and deduction to determine what the maze symbols meant, and what the puzzle matches were doing. And that sense of discovery helped reinforce those lessons in my head.

Unfortunately, underneath its charming design, engaging puzzles, and cyber-cute aesthetic, Beglitched has a real mean streak; a few stages in, the game becomes utterly unforgiving. When you run out of health, or fail a mission, the maze that you're in resets completely. Health-restoring items are rare, and some missions (like the one I'm in now, for example) can be failed instantly with very little warning.

This stings not only because of the randomized peril of level layouts and enemy movements, but because it consequently encourages you to avoid puzzle battles, and to sneak around them instead. In other words, the "fun" part of the game is too risky.

Which would be bad enough, even if I hadn't just run out of patience trying and retrying this Catnet level. Get to the end, some dumb cat takes my health away, have to start all over -- no, thanks.

Better than: Pony Island
Not as good as: Human Resource Machine
Sorry, Glitch Witch: you're gonna have to solve your own mystery.

Progress: Gave up in Catnet

Sorry to say, I was right when I guessed that Red Dead Redemption would be "better remembered than played." I got an itch to revisit it recently, and I don't know that I'll be following through on John Marston's story a second time.

Some parts of the game have aged well enough, like the beautiful environment and overall "feel" of the world. (Granted, up-scaling the game on current hardware helps this a bit.) Most of it just feels a little old: movement controls, cinematic direction, and voice acting aren't quite up to par with Rockstar's latest.

It's the quest pacing, though, that has really failed to grab me. (And, looking back at my posts from 2011, I had mixed feelings on that topic even then.) Part of it is because there is so much space between major beats; it takes significant time to get from one quest to the next. And part of it is also because the main plot just ... doesn't have the gravitas that I really want, from a modern game.

It certainly doesn't help that I already know John Marston's past and inevitable future. The intrigue of his story is no longer mysterious to me.

Well, here's hoping that the upcoming sequel will modernize "Grand Theft Horse" enough to recapture my interest.

Epistory has a story, told gradually as you explore the world, initally mysterious and progressively steeped in metaphors. This didn't really do anything for me.

What I did like is that it's a game about typing that isn't totally stupid. As opposed to some games which feel more dictated by random letter selection than by real spelling or typing ability, Epistory is an evolution of a "teaches typing" game that actually revolves around and tests your typing skill.

Occasionally, there are bugs that interfere with typing, which is pretty infuriating. And sometimes exploring the world, looking for the next thing to do, can be tedious. But the majority of the time, Epistory asks you to type quickly and strategically -- and accomplishing its trials feels genuinely satisfying.

Perhaps the most brilliant part of Epistory is its "adaptive difficulty." (At least, as far as I could tell.) I consider myself to be a fairly good typist, and the game had no problem providing me with adequate challenges; a few of its later encounters even took me a few tries to overcome.

Epistory's enchanting graphical style is also worth calling out. Watching virtual paper fold itself into terrain and features is a visual delight.

Although Epistory ultimately doesn't have that much going for it - it's a pretty-looking typing game - it's extremely well-executed, and one of very few games that allows you to brag about your words-per-minute score.

Better than: Letter Quest: Grimm's Journey, The Typing of the Dead: Overkill
Not as good as: if Letter Quest was less dice-roll-driven, or if there was a not-on-rails Typing of the Dead alternative.
Arguably competitive with: furiously typing out a caffeine-powered document

Controls that infuriatingly refuse precision. Platforming gauntlets that demand perfection, and force repetitive retry after retry. Hidden abilities that are necessary to proceed in the game (apparently the cloaking ability can also reflect light beams? what the fuck?). Yooka-Laylee has all the hallmarks of a game that doesn't respect your time.

Games could get away with this in bygone eras, because there weren't many other games to play. What else were you going to do -- go play outside? But in an age where everyone's Steam library has an insufferable backlog, developers must realize that there is no shortage of competition, and people won't just keep suffering through your awkward, tedious game.

Yooka-Laylee isn't all bad. But even at its best, exploring its worlds and solving its puzzles just feels ... stale. If you've played 3D character platformers before, Yooka-Laylee doesn't really offer anything new or interesting.

I think it's pretty telling that Playtonic didn't notice its own game's glaring, archaic issues until three weeks after release (April 11 -> May 2). As much as I would like to believe in time travel -- I've come to the simpler and sadder conclusion that Playtonic's designers played and replayed the old Banjo games so thoroughly, that they merely lost perspective of the industry's last fifteen years.

Anyway, having visited all five book-worlds and attained all of Yooka and Laylee's abilities (including the gameplay-trivializing ability to fly) - and still being under halfway to unlocking the final boss area (100 pagies!) - I've got no reservations against calling it quits.

Better than: Bear Simulator
Not as good as: Super Mario 3D World
With apologies to Grant Kirkhope: this game's soundtrack isn't good, either. Nostalgia doesn't make these short, repetitive melodies any better.

Progress: 48 pagies

Yooka-Laylee feels like a fifteen-year-old game with a very fresh coat of paint on it. I don't really mean that as a compliment.

The good news is that the core gameplay from Banjo-Kazooie and -Tooie is all here, and it's even been iterated on, slightly. The world-expansion mechanic serves as a reasonable excuse to revisit levels, and at least some of Yooka's reptilian moves are satisfyingly distinct from Banjo's repertoire.

The bad news is that games have come a long way since the year 2000, but Yooka-Laylee hasn't. While the controls, interface, and general tactile "feel" of Super Mario 64 was iterated on and refined through Sunshine, Galaxy/2, and 3D World; Yooka-Laylee has basically all the same mechanical problems as its N64-era forebears.

It has to be intentional, I mean -- I have to believe that the spastic camera, the squishy collision physics, and the (occasionally) unskippable dialog boxes, were done this way on purpose. Because there are only three explanations I can conceive of for blatantly irritating designs like this:

1. They're intentional;
2. Playtonic literally invented a time machine, and developed the game fifteen years ago;
3. Or none of this game's designers played any video games released after the year 2000.

I can't wholly write Yooka-Laylee off, because its core loop of exploring worlds and collecting random stuff is still rewarding and fun. It's just ... everything around this core, is stale, and kind of sucks. (Except for the writing, which is humorously self-deprecating in all the right ways.)

Progress: 18 pagies, 224 quills

I guess my prediction about Capcom embracing an episodic delivery format was overly optimistic. Still, it's nice that they're making more content for me.

Like the "Special Episode" added to Dual Destinies, this new case doesn't have anything to do with the plot or events of Spirit of Justice. In fact, with the return of Maya, Edgeworth, and Larry Butz, the banter and hijinks of this case are occasionally reminiscent of Phoenix Wright's older trials.

That aspect of the special episode is well-balanced: the returning characters feel comfortably familiar, but the case itself doesn't lean on knowledge of the DL-6 incident, or the Steel Samurai, et al. It also doesn't lean on nostalgia for its appeal, as the new characters and setting for this case are sufficiently interesting on their own.

As the franchise is wont to do, some of the biggest twists in this case are forecasted very early on -- but the devil is in the details, and working those details out during the investigation and trial is as satisfying as ever.

The only real failing here is that - like the Special Episode from Dual Destinies - it lacks the gravitas of the main game's sequelized cases, and how they progressively build up to an epic conclusion. As a self-contained case, this is about as good as you can get.

Well, that, and this extra case doesn't do much with the franchise's various evidence puzzle mechanics: Apollo is nowhere to be seen, and Athena doesn't actively participate. But as in Spirit of Justice's own cases, the story does a fair enough job making up for these shortcomings.

Better than: the shorter cases in Spirit of Justice
Not as good as: the longer cases in Spirit of Justice
Probably about the same as: Dual Destinies' "Turnabout Reclaimed" Special Episode

Apollo Justice: Asinine Attorney is slightly more ambitious than its Phoenix Wright counterpart, as it recycles art not only from Spirit of Justice, but also from Dual Destinies.

Otherwise, it's equally brief, equally silly, and equally un-funny.

Phoenix Wright: Asinine Attorney is not the real "Special Episode" DLC for Spirit of Justice. But it does cost $3.99 (and is bundled with a 3DS home menu theme).

It's terribly stupid. It's of a subpar quality even by fan-fiction standards. It's short -- 30 minutes, tops. It isn't even funny.

You can find much better, and more substantive!, additional cases for free, online.

If this episode had been included with the game, I would at least be able to write it off as a gimmicky extra. But as paid DLC, I expect something way, way better than this garbage. As it is, I feel like I was tricked into buying the 3DS theme, and this episode just came along for the ride.

Do not buy this. (Unless you want the 3DS theme.)

Has it really been over ten years since I first joined Phoenix Wright's legal team? Wow. Here's to ten more, old friend.

It's been three years since Dual Destinies - which, for its part, was a pretty innovative franchise entry - but Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney - Spirit of Justice feels like a much "safer" installment.

There is one cool new mechanic: video evidence, which asks you to track through and pause videos, then select a specific object to present. This mechanic is used both in the context of literal video footage of a crime, as well as in Khura'inese "divination seances" with the addition of sensory events (where words appear that indicate sounds and tactile feelings). Although the loading times on these videos could be better, analyzing moving evidence in real-time is a pretty fun experience.

It's practically moot, though, because these new evidence puzzles - as well as existing ones, like Phoenix's psyche-locks, Apollo's tension bracelet, and Athena's psych therapy - are used very sparingly throughout this game's cases. Spirit of Justice is significantly more focused on storytelling than on gameplay, and makes no bones about emphasizing text-time over puzzle-time.

At its worst, this design bias manifests some real implementation bugs: like moments where multiple pieces of evidence have the same meaning, but only one of them will be accepted -- followed by some dialog which will confirm, yeah, any of these really should have meant the same thing. Or, moments where the right piece of evidence is totally unintuitive, until wrong guesses trigger an in-game hint that gives it away.

The story, though, is pretty good. Par for the franchise's course, many big story beats are forecasted fairly early; but nevertheless, the way in which characters discover and explain these events is compelling. Not unlike Phoenix's original trilogy, concluded by Trials and Tribulations, Spirit of Justice digs up some thrilling elements of backstory while also breaking new ground in Ace Attorney's narrative world.

The final case is a real doozy, and although part of the final trial is too damn complicated, it's all wrapped up in a very satisfying way. And I only noticed a small handful of typos. So, that's good.

My one real complaint about the story is that, even though Maya "MacGuffin" Fey is actually in the game, her story still hasn't gone much of anywhere since she left for "training" in the first game. Spirit of Justice sets the stage for her to actually grow as a character, ... but I guess that story will have to wait for later.

Overall, Spirit of Justice is a satisfying and worthwhile Ace Attorney entry for franchise fans, with plenty of well-told story and interesting characters to read about. But, it's a bit disappointing that it does so little to build on the series' gameplay.

Better than: Professor Layton vs. Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney
Not as good as: Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney - Dual Destinies
But we're not done yet!: I've got the DLC Special Episode yet to do, which may or may not address the mysterious teaser in this game's ending.

I love puzzle games. I swear, I do! But I just can't love Crashmo.

The first problem it presents is one of over-cautious handholding. This is especially perplexing for a handheld game, with limited battery life and attention span; Crashmo starts with unskippable cutscenes, and slow-scrolling dialog that explains obvious mechanics. When you push a block in a direction, the block moves in that direction. You don't say? Fascinating.

Fortunately, this problem mostly (though not completely!) dissipates after the introductory set of puzzles. But by then, the game's second problem has already set in:

With its fixation on a combination of special gravity, three-dimensional spatial reasoning, and platform jumping, even moderately-difficult puzzles get pretty damned complicated. (And that's well before extra mechanics like portal doors and movement buttons are introduced.) The result is that most puzzles are just too nuanced - for me, anyway - to visualize and pre-plan.

Consequently, puzzle-solving tends to devolve into a mess of trial-and-error, followed by rewind-or-reset. I've come away from most of them feeling like the solution was a particular "trick," one specific to its arrangement of blocks and their relative altitudes, and which is inapplicable to other puzzles. Figuring out one puzzle doesn't help me figure out the next -- in other words, I don't feel like playing more of the game made me any better at it.

Crashmo's puzzles aren't "bad," exactly, but the slipshod sense of learning and progression wasn't good enough to keep me interested.

Better than: Exit DS
Not as good as: Picross 3D
I still can't believe: That the game bothers trying to attach story and personality to its characters. Seriously, old man, I don't care about your lost birds!

Progress: Completed 68/100 puzzles