As befits its subtitle, "Tactical Espionage Arsehole," Stealth Bastard is cheeky and charming in all the ways you'd want from an indie game. But this wit isn't the game's strongest suit, nor is the simple control set, nor even the comforting hand-drawn graphics. What Stealth Bastard does right is, somewhat counterintuitively, that it isn't really "about" stealth at all -- at least, not in the sense of a Hitman, or Splinter Cell, or Metal Gear Solid, or Mark of the Ninja. Stealth Bastard actually has more in common with a platform-puzzler.

You'll run, duck, and jump around a level, pushing blocks, interacting with switches, and evading traps and alarms. Figuring out how to make it through a level's obstacles is a big part of the game's challenge, but it tends to place greater emphasis on the execution of these plans, specifically in timing your moves just right. Avoiding sudden death can be very difficult, which is why I'm grateful for the VVVVVV-esque checkpointing, ensuring that you never lose more than a few seconds of progress. As frustrating as it can be to die over and over to a (bastard) kill-laser, being able to instantly try again staves off discouragement and tedium.

My one complaint so far is that, although there are some slightly-ominous hints in the first levels, Stealth Bastard's dark backstory isn't really developing, at least not yet. The game's humorous style would really be more effective if there was some narrative material to work with.

Progress: Finished Sector 2.

As a post-apocalyptic, zombie-filled send-up of The Oregon Trail, Organ Trail has some really clever ideas: scavenging for supplies while shooting zombies, maintaining vital car parts, and keeping your party healthy as you travel across the U.S. to a safe haven (encountering hidden movie and TV references along the way). As a game, it's slightly less successful, arguably doing too-good a job of emulating ancient computer games. Poor luck can come in random, intense bursts; and some events, such as biker gang attacks, become extremely repetitive. It doesn't help that the game is balanced such that, to keep a healthy amount of supplies, you'll need to do even more repetitive scavenging and questing.

But I have to give Organ Trail credit for a genuinely cool premise, and for at least one really neat mechanic, in the form of its pull-and-release shooting combat. Even though it was clearly designed with mobile touchscreen gaming in mind, it works well enough with a mouse -- and confers an appropriately-hectic feeling in high-tension situations. If there's anything that makes the one-to-two-hour trip worthwhile, it's that.

Better than: Majesty: The Fantasy Kingdom Sim
Not as good as: Swords & Soldiers
Extra-special props: for the Breaking Bad reference in the Albuquerque portrait. The game's art is light, but a really nice touch.

Progress: Reached the Safe Haven on Easy.

Well, to keep this brief -- Tomb Raider (2013) got me legit interested in the franchise, but my foray into Lara's previous reboot wasn't quite as pleasant. While I was pretty impressed with Tomb Raider: Legend's visual polish - particularly some forward-thinking settings that allow modern PCs to make it look far better than a game from 2006 should - the play mechanics of clambering up ledges, and targeting and shooting bad things, are old and clunky.

It's surprisingly not-bad, but still not good enough to compete with current action/adventure sensibilities.

Progress: Climbed some stuff, shot some dudes.

I didn't expect much from Sniper: Ghost Warrior, and that's basically what I got. I was a little surprised - although in retrospect, I really shouldn't have been - that the game feels less like a day in the life of a sniper, and more like a budget FPS with most of the weapons removed. Actually, you do still get a combat rifle and some throwing knives, for more intimate combat situations (which helps work around the shoddy stealth mechanics). Anyway; you're really better off just playing any other shooter, and using a sniper rifle in it.

Progress: Got midway through the first mission.

Coming back to Magicka after so long, it's refreshing to hurl fire lasers and explode lightning shields out at goblins again. But being one-shotted by an overpowered enemy is no less aggravating than it used to be, even with the one-free-revive fairy that The Stars are Left comes with.

It's not that my wizard's swift, grisly death is itself a frustration; actually, this is one of the things that makes Magicka so cool. But as in the original adventure, death takes a significant toll on game progress -- if not with far-removed checkpoints, then with magic-sponge enemies (in my case, a boss) that simply have way too many health points. Having to fight for minutes at a time, when a single mistake can kill you and force you to restart, isn't that fun.

Okay, so with the fairy, it's two mistakes. Still.

Progress: Failed to kill Parker, the giant spider.

This wasn't the first time The Internet tricked me into trying to make Just Cause 2 fun, but hopefully it'll be the last. I need to remember this time. I need to remember...

I know that people love this game, and I've come to accept that. I know that the game is capable of some really, actually awesome shit, and I'm OK with that. And I know that the story is supposed to be completely stupid, or, it isn't supposed to but it doesn't matter, and I think I understand that. But Just Cause 2 just isn't good enough! Its controls are a mess. Its world map is borderline unnavigable. Just the simplest acts, of shooting, of driving, of walking, all feel wrong.

Really, I'm jealous of the extreme physics stunts that JC2 is capable of; I wish that Grand Theft Auto had fuller and more-modern aerobatics (which GTA5 should), or that Saints Row had a more terrestrially-interesting landscape (which SR4 ... probably won't). Maybe Mad Max's themes will play better to Avalanche's style, but I'm not getting my hopes up yet.

Progress: Did a rebel mission.

Sure, strategy games get a lot of their flavor from complexity -- especially turn-based games, which tend toward throwing huge piles of mechanics at the player. This is exactly what I find appealing about Civilization V: the balance between technological progress, army strength, ally diplomacy, trade agreements, and everything else the game has going on. But everyone has their limit, and Crusader Kings II is way, way beyond mine. The in-game tutorial is really more of a PowerPoint presentation, clicking through pop-up information windows and tooltips, describing the seemingly endless amount of information that makes up - what appears to be - the game's "gameplay." I know I frequently claim that I don't have the patience to wait for a game to get good, but this time, I don't have the patience to learn what the hell the game is.

When a PC Gamer editor says, "I was still finding out about core mechanics I had completely overlooked at 200, 210, 220 hours in ..." -- yeah. No thanks.

Progress: Didn't even make it through the tutorial.

As Traveller's Tales' first open-world LEGO game, LEGO Batman 2 has its share of ingenuity, but also plenty of room for improvement -- especially when compared to later iterations. There's a fair amount of diversity in hero selection, but not until the very end, when the Justice League actually shows up; the costume system grants access to some cool powers, but starts to stagnate mid-game. Superman's (and later Green Lantern's and Wonder Woman's) flying power is cool in missions, but goddamn impossible to control effectively in open-world mode. Actually, open-world transportation in general is pretty lacking, with a confusing map and difficult-to-find vehicle stations. Missions are short, which is just as well because the story doesn't really have legs, centering on a fairly simple plot and underutilizing the DC hero/villain cast available to it.

It's fun, of course, particularly if you have a friend to play co-op with. But open-world LEGO adventures have gotten better, and it shows.

Better than: my expectations of earlier LEGO games, I guess. Hard to pick a good comparison.
Not as good as: LEGO City Undercover, LEGO The Lord of the Rings (Android, iOS, Mac, PC, PS3, Wii, X360), Batman: Arkham Asylum
Now to wait for LEGO Marvel Super Heroes: hopefully they use a real story for that one.

Progress: Finished the campaign, 17.7%.

The end of the game drags on - just a little - but it also features some joyously technical level-design puzzles, and a satisfying final boss. Ultimately I still feel a bit disappointed in Anodyne's movement and control-precision issues, which really only get smoothed over by a large health bar to compensate for mistakes; but it's a fun trip, and a remarkable achievement for its two-man team.

Better than: LostWinds
Not as good as: Fez
Maybe equitably good as: 1000 Amps, but spread out over a lengthier game.

Progress: Finished, 37 cards.

The Last Guardian was already on the edge of the knife when Ueda went rogue, but whatever hope it had left is sure gone now, with Sony using the magic words that mean we'll probably never see it again. If I was a betting man, I'd put money on Team Ico falling back to a pocket-sized Vita project, before fading into legend forever.