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Second: The Textorcist has a really slick presentation, with crisp art and a pulse-pounding soundtrack. The quality of the game's English is - ironically - a bit lacking, and the dialog scenes feel a little extravagant and unnecessary, but they look and sound good enough to put up with.
The real "meat" of the game, though, is the combat -- a bullet-hell game crossed with a typing game. Think Sine Mora meets Epistory, or something like Time Crisis plus Typing of the Dead. It's certainly not a genre mash-up I've seen before, and the way that it feeds back into the game's theme (reading prayers to exorcise demons!) is very thematically satisfying.
The problem is... it's too hard. I just can't coordinate bullet-dodging and typing at the same time. Maybe I'm supposed to be better at the bullet-hell part, and more strategic about the typing part? All I know is that I get hit a lot, interrupting my typing; it feels to me like the two core mechanics work against each other too much.
Actually reminds me a lot of my time with The World Ends with You. There's just too much going on at once for me to keep up with.
I'm really impressed by The Textorcist's design, but didn't end up having much fun playing it.
Progress: Got to the gang/club leader, in the demo.
After the first one, Mario Party never really entered into my regular gaming activities. I'd try one installment or another, here and there, and the formula seemed pretty consistent: a turn-based version of the random and rubber-band-ey bullshit from Mario Kart.
(Except when Mario Party 9 and 10 did the "everyone moves in the car" thing. That was dumb.)
Super Mario Party is no different. There's a new "ally" mechanic which is kinda neat, adding a little strategy to dice selection; and there are some extra modes like a rhythm game, for some reason; but at its core, it's the same formula from 20 years ago.
And I wouldn't call that a bad thing, really. The minigames are fun enough -- and more importantly, there are enough of them to keep the game feeling fresh over a long session. And, as long as you don't care too much about winning, watching that aforementioned "random and rubber-band-ey bullshit" play out makes for a good time.
It may not have the same opportunity for wicked creativity as a Jackbox, but Super Mario Party is nevertheless a fun way to dick around with your friends.
Okay, maybe that's a little too reductive. But it's really not difficult to sum up Crackdown 3 in a few words. For instance, these words: it's a sequel to Crackdown.
"This is a sandbox game where you can become a supercop that leaps over buildings, and tosses SUVs at gang members."
"... there's (almost) never a dull moment."
"... the fun of exploring the city, and the essentially-nil penalty for death (you go back to a respawn point) ..."
"... driving sucks."
"The game is not without flaws; sometimes the aiming gets caught on things you don't want to aim at, sometimes a target is unreasonably difficult to find and takes some wandering around to get to."
"... once all the criminals are gone, the city really isn't as interesting anymore."
All of these statements are still descriptive of Crackdown 3. Hell, even my endgame state - my driving stat is low, but the others are close to maxed - is pretty much the same as when I'd finished the first game.
That Crackdown 3 feels so faithful to its forebear is simultaneously remarkable and disappointing. Its collectible-driven gameplay loops are fun, and the incredibly-bombastic combat can be a real treat. But the game is also structurally simple, with very few twists or surprises in its missions/challenges, and a story that sounds like it was written over a weekend.
The worst part is, I doubt that someone who hadn't played Crackdown before will be able to enjoy this third iteration. Compared to its contemporaries, Crackdown 3's controls are clunky, and its world is a bit bland.
But, for someone who enjoyed Crackdown, this is the same thing again. With Terry Crews in it.
The Champions' Ballad is a fun addition to Breath of the Wild, although its quality is somewhat uneven. The DLC's quest is essentially split into three segments, starting out pretty rough; then graduating to somewhere above mediocre; before finally finishing on a satisfying high note.
The first segment is centered around the ancient "One-Hit Obliterator" weapon, which can kill anything in one hit. But wielding it means Link will also die in one hit. And since the enemies come in groups, and have ranged attacks... yeah. It feels kinda bullshit.
Thankfully, not as much bullshit as the equipment-stripping handicap in The Master Trials, because you still have access to most of your old inventory -- critically: bows and arrows. For the non-masochist, the One-Hit Obliterator segment has little to do with the Obliterator, and a lot to do with methodical arrow-slinging.
Plus, there are only four encounters in this segment, and the game saves inbetween each one. So, yeah, not nearly as much bullshit as the Trial of the Sword.
The second segment has sub-quests that can be done in any order, each sub-quest consisting of minor assorted challenges and shrines, then a boss fight.
The miscellaneous challenges are purported to be the same trials that the Champions originally undertook, 100 years ago, which is definitely overselling them -- a few are "neat" but most are pretty "meh." In particular, the move-quickly-between-glowing-rings events are lukewarm and overused.
The shrines are good!, on par with the shrine puzzles in the original game. Between this DLC's first and second segments, there are 16 new shrines - not too shabby, right? - and I had just as much fun solving them as I did with the original 120.
Then there are the boss fights. These are re-treads of the same Divine Beast dungeon bosses from the main game: they use the same attacks, and have the same weaknesses. The difference this time is that you're locked into a limited set of weapons, so... no stockpile of gear, and no Master Sword.
But this hardly makes a difference for most of the bosses, as whaling away on them with the given weapons is still no trouble at all. (Waterblight Ganon was a big pain in the ass for me, but I didn't realize that you can use Stasis against his big dumb ice cubes.)
By the end of the middle segment's challenges and shrines and boss re-fights, I was feeling amicable about The Champions' Ballad - its shrines and other trials were more entertaining than not - but it still seemed a lot like recycled content. So, I was pleasantly surprised by the DLC's third and final segment.
A dungeon! That is, the same kind of large-scale puzzle-space as the Divine Beasts. Still smaller than a typical Zelda dungeon, but I found it really enjoyable in how it orchestrated multiple puzzle mechanics together in a visually-big way.
And the boss of this dungeon, a fuckin' magic zombie monk, was a thrill as well. Not just because of the shock of seeing the monk come to life, but also because of all the new (and remixed) attack patterns in his fight.
It did feel kinda silly how many times the monk kept saying that "this" trial was the "final" one, and I was almost a "true" hero! But by this late in the game, I wasn't holding out any hope for narrative quality.
If only Breath of the Wild's DLC had added more distinctive and substantial content like that.
The Champions' Ballad is ultimately satisfying, even though the majority of it - including some fairly blasé flashback cutscenes - is more of the same Breath of the Wild I'd seen before.
The real shame of it is, since the game's DLCs aren't sold separately, the "Expansion Pass" is functionally a $20 quest bundled with a bunch of other dumb shit that I didn't really want.
Also, the Master Cycle Zero looks rad but doesn't feel useful in practice. I think of it more like a cool trophy.
Its titular feature is the Trial of the Sword sidequest: a three-part series of combat-oriented challenges. Like the main game's Eventide Island, these challenges strip you of all items and equipment -- so, on top of needing to scavenge for weapons and food, enemy attacks deal a shit-ton of damage.
And, each of the three parts is a sequence of rooms where - if you die in the middle - you'll need to restart the whole sequence. Ugh.
The reward for finishing this quest is a powered-up Master Sword, ... when it wasn't already powered-up. Meaning, while it normally deals 30 damage and is increased to 60 against Guardians, this reward will have it deal 60 damage all the time. Which would be pretty cool except it can still break, so even with its "true" power, the Master Sword is no substitute for a stockpile of other good swords.
Given that, the real reward for this sidequest is the challenge of it, I guess. With no narrative motivation, and given the high penalty for death, I lost interest in that challenge pretty quickly.
Other than the Trial of the Sword, this DLC doesn't do anything particularly praiseworthy. There's a new teleportation rune, for setting your own fast-travel location, which is neat?
There are a few new chests scattered around the world, with throwback gear like a Majora's Mask helmet or Tingle's outfit. Following the riddles to these chests was kinda fun, but the equipment is weak and un-upgradeable; their only function seems to be cluttering up the inventory menu.
And there's a hard mode now. Sure, okay.
The Trials of the Sword quest, and the hard mode, might be meaningful for a player who really specifically enjoyed Breath of the Wild's combat, and got bored of farming Lynels. But that seems like a pretty small niche to me. Otherwise, I don't think anything in this DLC installment is worthwhile.
Better than: I don't have a good comparison, as I tend not to review story-less DLC. Not as good as: real downloadable content. At least The Master Trials isn't sold separately: it just comes as a "bonus" alongside The Champions' Ballad.
Progress: did the first part of Trial of the Sword, and collected the shiny armors.
Two years later, many parts of Breath of the Wild still ring familiar to me. It's a trade-off for how awe-inspiring and memorable my first playthrough was; a replay doesn't feel quite as "special."
But that's not to say the thrill is gone, as it was when I replayed BioShock Infinite or Majora's Mask. This iteration of Hyrule remains thoroughly majestic, bursting with wonder, plentiful with activity. So much of Breath of the Wild is just satisfying to participate in.
(The "endgame" stuff I whined about before is still fairly unsatisfying. But hey, I'm trying it this time, so it can't be all that bad ... right?)
One positive of this playthrough is that I'm appreciating the storytelling a bit more -- now that my expectations for it are low. The supporting cast is flat (granted I haven't worked up to The Champions' Ballad just yet), Link doesn't emote, Ganon is an amorphous blob, and Princess Zelda is annoying and kind of shitty. But! when you realize her personal plight, the shadow of self-disappointment that she wallows in, Zelda's shittiness becomes a little easier to relate to and her character can seem borderline convincing.
I think Zelda's backstory probably would have worked better if, contrary to being totally non-linear, some of Link's flashbacks were up-front with that perspective on the princess. ... but since the ending is lame anyway, lacking any sense of payoff for her, maybe it doesn't matter.
On that note, this time through the game has crystallized my thoughts on some parts of Breath of the Wild that could really be improved, and which I hope are improved for whatever comes next. Like, I'm okay with the breakable weapons and the limited weapon slots, but I'm disappointed that there isn't permanent access (like with the Sheikah Slate) to commodity functions like torch-lighting and food-cooking.
Holding a shield is a huge defensive advantage, both passively (lowering enemy damage) and actively (blocking attacks). Which is a dramatic disincentive against two-handed weapons. Link's jump-dodge just isn't good enough; I think two-handers also need a block/parry button.
And there needs to be some anti-rain ability. Rain takes away too many valuable gameplay tools - climbing, lighting a fire, seeing clearly - with no mitigation except to teleport away from it. Here's hoping for some kind of magic umbrella, or maybe even a reverse Song of Storms.
As for the Switch game's advantages over its Wii U version, without putting them side by side, it's hard for me to say if the display resolution, or level of detail, or frame rate are any better. Far-off objects are still indistinct; long gliding sessions still show plenty of pop-in; and busy areas like Kakariko Village or the Great Deku Tree still drop frames prodigiously.
But as before, the game experience is compelling enough that these shortcomings are easy to ignore.
In short, I think that on revisiting, I'd say yeah: Breath of the Wild is still the new "best Zelda."
Progress: Killed the evil shit again, 120 shrines, all the sidequests, bunches of Korok seeds, more equipment upgrades than were really useful.
I'm disappointed in Smash for Wii U, but not for good reasons. It isn't my kind of game -- but I don't think it was ever supposed to be.
[...]
The modes that I wanted are gone, and a lot of their replacements are ... inscrutable.
Above all, it was the lack of a single-player campaign (like Brawl's "Subspace Emissary" mode) that made the last Smash Bros. feel minimally applicable to my own tastes.
Which is fighting. A lot, a lot, of fighting. Twenty to thirty hours' worth. ... and that makes sense for a fighting game, but World of Light both lacks a sense of variety (as with Subspace Emissary's occasional platform-ey sections), and hammers on its singular note for far too long, severely wearing out its welcome.
World of Light isn't completely without charm, in some highly-themed sections like the Jungle Japes sub-map with a bunch of Kong-themed fights, or the sub-map that has you flying across a globe and HP-battling Street Fighter characters. The game is at its best when these sections keep the nostalgia flowing continuously.
But the overwhelming majority of fights feel phoned-in, by comparison. Like someone made a list of all the video game characters they could think of, and then mapped all the "Man Wearing a Coat" characters to Dr. Mario, all the "Athletic Woman" characters to Zero-Suit Samus, and just threw in a group of Yoshis when they ran out of ideas.
The difficulty pacing of the mode is also kind of a mess. Each fight has a numeric challenge score associated with it, and up to the very end, I was still encountering 1,000-level fights right before and right after 12,000-level fights. This slapdash, random-feeling arrangement of difficulties wasn't merely disorienting, it actively harmed my ability to learn how to play better!
And while I appreciated the first several fights that felt legitimately challenging, some of them were just absurd. At a certain point, taking on multiple simultaneous full-strength opponents crosses the line from "unfair" to "ridiculous." I'm not ashamed to say that I turned the difficulty setting down about halfway through the campaign.
Which sorta leads into a key feature of World of Light: the Spirits. (Hell, the mode is listed under "Spirits" in the main menu.) These collectible little doodads, all accompanied by the name and image of some random game character, increase your fighter's stats and give them special abilities to better-weather challenging fights. But that's not all!
There are hundreds of them. And many of them level-up.
Choosing the best spirits, and playing the minigames (and visiting the ... item shops) to increase their power, is a whole other game on its own. But not a good game. It's of the caliber you'd expect from a "clicker" or a "time management" mobile game: repetitive, shallow, and totally brain-dead. There's nothing fun about it.
Between those mind-numbing spirits and the seemingly never-ending amount of fights, World of Light gets real, real tedious. I could only just suffer through it to unlock all of Smash Ultimate's playable characters.
That roster of characters, and the stages they can fight on, are by a fair margin the most impressive that this franchise has ever seen -- not to mention the unbelievably huge soundtrack. It's intimidating how much fighting-game content is in Ultimate, and if I had an active group of friends to regularly battle, I would be beyond thrilled at the amount of stuff that this game could give us to play with.
As someone who likes unlocking things, and who wanted to see some surprising single-player gameplay, it's a "meh" at best. Much as I appreciate the nostalgia, it's no match for World of Light's tedium.
The Last Guardian doesn't feel like a game that took ten damn years to make. At least, not in the typical sense.
Titles stuck in development hell tend to come out as a scrambled mess of unrelated ideas, as a result of being left "in the oven" for so long; and often, after being rushed into a releasable state, end up unpolished and obtuse. But that's not the case here: The Last Guardian has a fairly-direct presentation, appropriately-spartan mechanics, and a focused theme. It's a lot like Ico and Shadow of the Colossus in those ways.
That's the problem. The Last Guardian is too much like the games that Fumito Ueda has been making for the last 20 years or so. And without Colossus's thrilling puzzle-parkour boss fights.
It might be fascinating, to observe the development of this auteur and his craft, if The Last Guardian played like a generational improvement (or... two generational improvements?) over his previous work. But it doesn't. I could offer the compliment that its dog-bird beast has some surprisingly-lifelike animations, and that's about it.
Otherwise, it plays a lot like one of today's Unreal Engine 4 "art games," but older. The controls haven't got much better since Colossus. The gameplay is flat, carried almost entirely by familiar and shallow environmental puzzle-solving. The environments look overly similar to those muddy-looking ruins we've seen so many times before. And the storytelling is vacant, in a way that may once have been mysterious, but is now just boring.
That's my net takeaway of what I saw in The Last Guardian: nothing it's doing is interesting. I've seen practically all of it before, and it's no longer novel or engaging. Maybe there's something good buried later in the game? ... but I wasn't motivated enough to stick around and find out.
What The Last Guardian showed me wasn't an advancement of Ueda-san's ideas, but a re-iteration of his old ones. In that context, spending two decades making the same game over and over again, it seems a little bit more like a typical development-hell production; one that should have been abandoned quite some time ago.
Netflix is a game platform, now. What a time to be alive.
Black Mirror is a fantastic and haunting series, with great production values and excellent writing -- but its most distinctive feature (like its spiritual predecessor, The Twilight Zone) is how it subverts the expectations of the sci-fi viewer, and challenges the assumptions - especially the optimistic, happy ones - normalized by its contemporaries.
Bandersnatch does that, too, but it also subverts the expectations of the adventure game player.
Narratively, and here be spoilers:
Bandersnatch isn't just about selecting a path through the story -- the choice-making mechanic is intrinsically part of the story, itself. The point at which Stefan starts to believe he's being "controlled" by an outside force felt like a BioShock twist moment to me; I'm absolutely tickled by how my agency was integrated into the story itself.
And like the best Black Mirror episodes, Bandersnatch revels in its misleads. Early choices set the story up as though your choices are trivial, or meaningless; and Stefan's realization supports the idea that you, the player, are "being played" by Bandersnatch's writers. This set-up makes the effects of later choices feel all-the-more dramatic.
The pair of "Netflix choice" endings felt a little overly silly, but I can't really disparage them for having some fun with themselves.
Mechanically, Bandersnatch has some room for improvement, but also gets some things surprisingly right. Specifically, regarding how you can find and view alternate paths/endings.
Con: There's no "save file" equivalent, so once you've reached the credits, Netflix can't tell you which endings you've seen and what choices you might want to re-attempt.
Pro: In many cases, before the credits, Bandersnatch does give you the opportunity to return to a pivotal moment and try something else. It uses smartly sped-up/re-cut footage to start the story over, and bring you quickly back to the moment of choice.
It ain't perfect, but Bandersnatch is wonderfully entertaining; it has real, meaningful interactive qualities; and it treats its Adventure game heritage with respect and awe. This is an all-around treat for the game aficionado.
Also, Jeff Minter is in it. (I did a double-take when I saw his name in the credits.)
Last January, I posted about eight oft-delayed games that had been sitting in my "upcoming" list for a number of years. And - much to my surprise - four of them finally managed to be released in 2018.
The results were ... let's say, "mixed."
My hopes for Chasm were low going in, but I was still disappointed with just how uncharismatic it was. An absent story, boring (procedural) level design, and flat combat mechanics left me with no reason to keep playing it.
CrossCode was, at least, extremely memorable. Some of its systems and ambitions were really cool, and the production values were surprisingly good -- I just hated how slow-paced and filler-stuffed the final package was, and how hostile the difficulty curve became.
Miraculously, Timespinner was actually good. I had a few gripes about its storytelling, and its Igavania inspirations were blatant, but the game was well-executed and I seriously enjoyed playing it.
As for the other four titles, they appear to still be plodding along.
A.N.N.E. released a backer-only demo in December, so maybe it'll actually make progress, this year.
Factorio's roadmap is pushing it at least through a good chunk of 2019, now.
And Indivisible is looking pretty good to release soon, ... but then again, Shaq Fu was saying that for like, two years.
On the subject of year-on-year disappointment -- let's look at the Glog stats from 2018!
2017's games-played count was pretty high, and I failed to reach that same bar in 2018. But, hey, not bad.
A lot of that 2017 count came from replays, including remasters. And even though one of each (Ōkami HD and Diablo III) carried over into 2018, I didn't end up replaying much, last year.
Reiterating my previous praise, Ōkami's HD facelift was gorgeous, and its beauty really helped overcome some of the game's more awkward components.
The Shadow of the Colossus remake didn't age quite as well, due to its sprawling yet barren world, but taking down colossi was still a blast -- especially at a stable framerate.
Red Faction: Guerrilla Re-Mars-tered has a brilliant name, but the game itself is suffering from the ravages of time. (The world needs a new drive-trucks-through-buildings game.)
Compared to all those, the high-def re-release of Vanquish felt like a misfire. It wasn't enough of a visual spectacle, compared to today's games, to distract from its sometimes-broken mechanics and its always-dumb story.
I'm kinda sad at what happened to Diablo III. People have told me that it's a fun game to come back to over and over, but the re-balancing they've done - to emphasize seasonal endgame grinding, I guess - turned it into a total bore, for me.
And Portal 2 is still good. Not as revolutionary as back in 2011, but Cave Johnson is a timeless treasure.
On to DLCs. My 2017 included a lot of them, largely thanks to Borderlands 2; 2018 was more tame, although still substantial.
I guess that Thronebreaker: The Witcher Tales is considered a "Standalone Expansion" for the Gwent digital CCG. Thronebreaker was pretty great, albeit lacking the narrative heft of Geralt's own adventures.
Speaking of, the Witcher 3 expansions Hearts of Stone and Blood and Wine were highlights of my year. I just ... can't effuse enough about Witcher 3. Though I will still do more effusing later in this post.
In 2017 I played games on seven different platforms, retiring my DS and Wii U. My platform activity in 2018 was less varied, covering only four, including the ever-predominant PC.
Paper Mario: Sticker Star was almost certainly the last thing my 3DS will ever see. Not a great send-off, unfortunately. But, the system overall had a pretty good run.
Speaking of Odyssey, it was one of fairly few games that I rated "Awesome" in 2017. In 2018, despite playing less games overall, more of them felt Awesome to me.
Middle-earth: Shadow of War, like its predecessor, wasn't revolutionary but was a shit-ton of orc-murderin' fun. Prey had some imperfections and annoyances, but blew me away with its mechanical depth and interactive world. Horizon Zero Dawn needed a better inventory system, but had plenty of thrilling combat, and an amazing story.
And God of War expertly immersed me in its rich mythos and charming characters. It's easy for me to see why this game won so many "best of 2018" awards.
But the best thing I played last year was definitely The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt and its aforementioned expansions. In addition to being a more acccessible, more exciting, and more stable iteration on Witcher 2, Wild Hunt achieved something that few games have: it made my story choices feel both meaningful, and interesting.
God of War, Horizon Zero Dawn, and Witcher 3 all impressed me with incredibly well-built worlds and well-told stories. But where most choice-based games fall into a trap of making one option "correct," and the others narratively unfulfilling -- Geralt's story was rewarding throughout, regardless of how I played it.
So what's on the docket for 2019?
Well, if they actually make it this year, maybe those other four long-delayed games. I'm unsure about Rage 2, but it's starting to look like a more zany and fun take on Mad Max. And it's possible that Crackdown 3 will turn out okay.
If I'm smart enough, hopefully I can finish Alchemia. There's all that Switch stuff I mentioned, above. I've still got a deep, deep backlog, particularly in terms of PC RPGs. And it's been a while since I replayed Sleeping Dogs, The Saboteur, or Chrono Trigger (whose PC re-release has been calling out to me).
And, maybe if I get tired of waiting for the inevitable PC version, I'll consider picking up Red Dead Redemption 2.
Here's to a joyful and game-ful 2019!
Footnote: The first Glog post will turn fifteen years old this week. Wild, right?
