Bowser's Inside Story has some good fundamentals, but its pacing is a mess, and balancing problems can unexpectedly flip its combat from "fun" to "frustrating."

Let's start with some praise: as ever, the Mario RPG combination of platforming, turn-based battles, and real-time action is a good idea. When it works, it works great.

This formula feels at its best when Bowser is playable. His combat moves are fresh, and his ass-kicking ability is a blast to wield. Hands-down, my favorite moment in the game was when Bowser turned Godzilla-huge and started fighting a castle.

Like, literally punching a castle. Friggin' cool.

And playing as the Mario bros. can be pretty fun, too. Like I said, when it works.

Bowser's Inside Story gets marks off, though, for how often it doesn't work. And this is largely (though not entirely) a function of the game's bafflingly-bad pacing and level design.

In its first half or so, the story alternates focus between the Bros and Bowser. Early Bowser content is actually pretty fun -- watching him react to a rival villain, and seeing events from his boisterous perspective, is amusing for a while. But while he's out doing his dragon-turtle thing, Mario and Luigi are stuck in his mauve, labyrinthine interior, traversing bland levels and fighting repetitive enemies. The "inside" parts of Bowser's Inside Story are by far the least interesting.

Around the story's halfway point, a magical thing happens: Mario and Luigi are able to wander the open world. (By using warp pipes inside Bowser ... that warp to outside Bowser. It's weird.) All the outside areas that Bowser had covered, with suspiciously-foreshadowed Mario- and Luigi-sized blocks and paths, become re-explorable at your own pace.

It's kind of a shame that, as a result, walking the "open" world feels like re-treading old ground. There's approximately one new area that the Bros get to discover; the rest has little to offer, except bizarre combinations of old and new enemies. (Also, wow is the world map bad at showing how to travel between areas.)

This whole time, it's hard to care about the over-arching plot. Fawful is a boring villain, with a clichéd plot. The narrative never feels surprising or engaging, and the only sense of variety it seems to have is non-sequitur out-of-left-field directives. Suddenly we need to climb this tower? or talk to a doctor? or collect three macguffins? The whole thing has roughly the attention span of a preschool kids' cartoon.

That undirected-ness finally ends when, after Mario and Luigi finish their open-ish tasks, you prepare to assault the villain's castle. And here's where the story's pace irked me the most: this, which feels like the end of the game, is roughly its 75% mark. There are quite a few hours of dungeon-crawling and boss-fighting left to go, here -- and the remaining dungeons and encounters aren't varied enough to support this running length.

It's in these moments, when it feels like an endless series of similar-looking rooms and already-learned enemies, that the combat system's problems feel most poignant.

• Learning an enemy's patterns can be a crapshoot. Some enemies have a large number of attack patterns, and what looks like Pattern 5 may end up being a surprise! Pattern 6, whose defense is totally different.
• In many cases, the timing window for a successful defense (or attack) is astonishingly small. They're just really hard to do. And it's easy to get thrown off by the subtle timing differences of an attack targeting Mario versus targeting Luigi.
• The punishment for mistakes can be severe, especially when they cascade, e.g. getting hit might cause a character to be dazed and unable to defend against following hits. A single split-second misjudgment can mean the difference between a healthy Mario and a dead Mario.
• Most of the SP-consuming special moves are unrealistically difficult to pull off, due to how crazy their button and/or touch controls are. It's almost always a better idea to just use regular attacks, instead. (Luckily, the Bros and Bowser each have at least one late-game special move that isn't a huge pain to use.)
• In one of the almost-final boss battles, there is an unavoidable attack. The boss literally calls it his "Unavoidable Attack." That just seems mean.

I keep having to go back and remind myself that, yeah -- when the game works, it works well. And the combat works more often than it doesn't. If the overall story hadn't been so vacant and disoriented, and if the game's levels hadn't been so dull and tiresome, I wouldn't have given most of those flaws a second thought.

It's the fact that Partners in Time had these same problems with story pace and overlong levels, that makes me very wary about continuing on with the Mario & Luigi series. My playing time in this installment was on par with internet measurements, which estimate almost twice as long for the next installment, Dream Team.

I really would like more of the Mario RPG gameplay formula, even with the combat annoyances this series may have. But I'm not willing to slog through this caliber of storytelling for that many hours.

Better than: Mario & Luigi: Partners in Time (Yeah, I know I said "Good" on that one, but ... hell, that was more than a decade ago.)
Not as good as: Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door, at least in terms of story and world-building.
I wonder: if Super Mario RPG has aged well at all.

Opus Magnum feels a bit like it carved a chunk out of SpaceChem, added one or two new ideas, and spent most of its development cycle trying to look pretty. (Like Shenzhen I/O did to TIS-100 before it.)

Where SpaceChem had chemical elements, Opus Magnum has alchemical elements. And where SpaceChem used traveling waldos to move atoms around, Opus Magnum uses arms, which can rotate or extend. (... But can also travel a path.) At least so far, there is no equivalent to SpaceChem's complex multi-factory problems. And the input/output sequence is locked, so there's no room for cleverly processing multiple jobs simultaneously; only one output at a time is allowed.

The gameplay focuses on different aspects of automation than SpaceChem did - at least to me, Opus Magnum feels more about micro-optimizations - but overall it seems simpler than its predecessor, which is a disappointment.

Also mildly disappointing is that the game's soundtrack frequently stutters and glitches. This really seems like the kind of thing that would have been ironed out in early access. EDIT: This appears to be a common problem in current Unity games.

The storytelling in Opus Magnum is a mechanical step forward for Zachtronics, if not a narrative one: there's actually a protagonist, with a name and a face. So where Shenzhen's emails or Infinifactory's NPC chatter felt like I was receiving flavorful directions, Opus Magnum really feels like it's telling me the story of Anataeus.

... That said, all the characters' dialog (including this protagonist's) is stiffly robotic, and their personalities are all pretty flat. The quality of the writing seems about on-par with SpaceChem's.

I will give some props to the built-in minigame, Sigmar's Garden, which is way less frustratingly obtuse than Shenzhen's solitaire game. It's still not all that engaging, but at least I don't actively hate it.

I'm definitely having fun with Opus Magnum, but I hope that later puzzles will find some more interesting high-level challenges for me.

Progress: almost done with Chapter II.

I've been telling myself since August that I would, eventually, come back and wrap up Infinifactory. But every time I actually think about it, I just can't even imagine myself enjoying the hours of work it'll take to do the five puzzles I have remaining.

At least of the puzzles currently available to me, they all require assembly from such a low level - like making a LEGO set out of only two-stud bricks - that the excitement of pulling off ingenious engineering becomes overshadowed by grueling tedium.

I would have to call these last few levels an unfortunate misstep for Infinifactory, and the culmination of an awkward pace (with multiple difficulty spikes) throughout the game.

But despite that, I have to commend Infinifactory on the whole, for delivering an impressive amount of great puzzle content. Not all of its puzzles are winners, but ... a great many of them are.

Better than: Shenzhen I/O and TIS-100 for sure; and probably SpaceChem, in general.
Not as good as: SpaceChem had a better difficulty curve (although its final boss was kind of terrible bullshit, too).
Just in time: for Opus Magnum! (hopefully coming out of Early Access soon?)

Progress: stopped at The Homeward Fleet - Fusion Reactor

Immediately, the most jarring thing about Shantae: Risky's Revenge - Director's Cut is the high-definition UI art that it's putting on top of Nintendo DS-era gameplay graphics. (Honestly, they look even more like GBA graphics.) The modern-ish HD veneer fades away pretty quickly.

And beneath that veneer is a game that feels just a bit too antiquated for today. The controls aren't quite responsive enough; the hitboxes are never exactly what I expect; the menu sucks (where's my Map button); the UI's visual language is unclear; combat isn't interesting at all; the logic on enemy respawning is all over the place.

It's slightly bizarre that, although I definitely wouldn't call the game hard, I end up taking a fair amount of damage -- because I'm having a lot of trouble timing my attacks and movement correctly. Thankfully Shantae's HP is more than enough to accommodate this.

Gameplay aside, Shantae's world feels very minimally charming. Pixel-art belly-dancing can only go so far.

... actually, I guess my nitpicks don't necessarily indicate "antiquated" as much as they might "sloppy." A trend I really can't help but ascribe to WayForward, game after game after game.

Progress: Defeated the Squid Baron

So I guess Mario & Luigi: Bowser's Inside Story has been on my backlog for about eight years. I'd totally forgotten about it.

And considering my fond memories of Superstar Saga and less-than-fond ones of Partners in Time, this installment is ... well, it's pretty okay.

• The light-hearted storytelling and strangely-Italian miming are still somewhat charming (especially now that Bowser's in on it). But the larger plot seems silly and unstructured, more like I'm following dots on a map than like I'm actually on a mission.
• The timing-based combat moves are fun, and keep gameplay more interesting than just selecting the right attack (i.e. not jumping on a spiny shell). But learning an enemy's tells can be frustrating, particularly when they're in dinky little details like a left-eye versus right-eye wink.
• Other RPG aspects, like equipment and stat points, don't feel all that important. I mean, leveling up definitely makes a visible difference in overall power; but the finer details aren't that impactful, so far.
• And then there are the overworld puzzles, and the bros' special moves like Luigi smushing Mario with a hammer so he can walk under short ceilings. This was one of the coolest parts of Superstar Saga; but until a genuinely new ability shows up, it's feeling a little over-familiar.

The aspect of switching control between Bowser (in the Mushroom Kingdom) and the bros (inside Bowser) hasn't come up much so far. There is some real promise in how Bowser's vacuum move can make a battle span both perspectives; but at least so far, they don't really integrate with each other all that much.

If I had played it when it was new, I'd probably be a lot more impressed. And it's not like I'm down on the game, exactly. It just hasn't "grabbed" me yet.

Progress: Plack Beach

I've remarked before on Diablo III's uninteresting environments:

... all of these design themes and elements work fine, but they seem lifted from Diablo II as a template, rather than originally designed from its inspiration.

... and its piss-poor storytelling:

And the fact that the plot is totally fucking stupid is still impossible to ignore. Even when skipping cinematics and story scenes, the game's dumb characters are irritatingly aggressive at showing off how silly the story is.

Still, the core loot-driven progression formula got a lot better post-launch; and I figured that this would be a compelling system for me and my dedicated co-op partner, coming off of Borderlands 2.

But I don't know what they changed since 2014 -- or if they even changed anything, maybe it's me? This game is boring, now. Normal and Hard mode, at least, are basically indistinguishable from a clicker game.

Sometimes new loot has a bunch of exciting green numbers on it, but it never changes the way that I play the game. Upgrading gear just feels rote and routine. I guess this was always true of Diablo III: even the difference between slower and faster weapons is practically meaningless for your character's abilities.

And the abilities themselves are, well they're interestingly varied, but it still doesn't really matter what I do. The thrill of unlocking a new ability tends to be dulled by the realization that the old ones - even the ones I started the game with - feel like they completely overpower all the enemies that the game can throw at me.

It feels like the current game's sense of difficulty is premised on swarms of enemies, rather than on particularly difficult tactics (like runners or teleporters or arcane-enchanted laser assholes). So I use an ability that does area-of-effect damage, and they all explode at once. It's all over in a moment.

Maybe we'll see if the "Expert" difficulty changes anything. I hope it doesn't just throw even more underpowered enemies at us.

It'd be a bit of a shame if we get completely bored of Diablo III before even making it to the new Act V.

Progress: Somewhere in the fucking desert

Counting Super Mario Odyssey's power moons is a little complicated. For one thing, some of the collectible moons are actually triple moons that increment the counter on your spaceship by 3; but they still only count as one in the list of collectibles.

For another thing, you can use gold coins to buy an infinite amount of moons. So... huh.

At any rate, there are 836 collectible moons - not counting triples! - and I got 816 of them. The majority of those, I even got without help from the interweb! And the game was really most fun when I was just wandering around a kingdom, looking for things I'd missed.

The 20 moons I've got left are from challenges that I'm deeming too fucking hard, like footraces that require mastery of difficult shortcut-enabling jumps, or the final level that doesn't have any checkpoints.

And I collected all the purple coins for special outfits, which really seems like the most important in-game accomplishment.

Yeah. Mario Odyssey is pretty awesome.

I'd been looking forward to Death Squared, thinking that it looked like a fun co-op puzzler in the vein of Pitfall Planet. Good thing I tried the demo, first.

Death Squared seems not as much to be a thoughtful, methodical puzzle game, as it is a die-and-retry, getting-punched-in-the-face kind of puzzle game.

At least in two-player mode, levels are scripted such that each player's movement basically fucks the other player over. So the solution to a level will require the Red player to move to one position, then the Blue player to move to another position, then Red to move again, and Blue, and ... so on. Moving to a non-ideal position, and/or moving while your counterpart isn't standing in the right place, will result in someone being killed and the level restarting.

Naturally, discovering these traps tends to involve being killed by surprise and having to restart from scratch.

By myself, controlling both characters with one brain, I couldn't even make it through the whole demo. I can only imagine that in co-op, Death Squared would incur even more severe coordination frustration than what drove me to give up on Kalimba.

Nine DLCs and 70-odd hours later, Borderlands 2 does ultimately run out of steam. My few remaining quests are mostly of the Raid and/or Level 50 variety - plus a few tiresomely-repetitive combat arenas - and I'm not really stoked on starting the whole game over again for True Vault Hunter Mode.

But Borderlands 2's weak transition into "endgame" is softened considerably by the incredible volume of content leading up to it. And aside from a few disappointing DLCs, that content remains commendable for its blend of engaging action, compelling loot, and genuinely funny writing and acting.

I'll probably get to the Pre-Sequel after leaving my Borderlands itch un-scratched for a few months. In the meantime, I'm still hoping for that Mr. Torgue spinoff franchise.

The previous Headhunter packs were holiday-themed. Sir Hammerlock vs. the Son of Crawmerax looks like it was going to be for Easter - there's a "fertility event" and there are a bunch of pastel-colored eggs - but then they lost interest, and dropped the holiday connection altogether.

But that's not important. What is important, is that Wam Bam Island is gorgeous. White, sandy beaches lit by a clear, bright sky, peppered with hostile pirates and crab monsters ("craboids"). Two parts of the map are connected by an underwater tunnel, which is, as we all know, the coolest part of any aquarium.

Also important: since it pulls in the whole Vault Hunter cast, the background banter is pleasant and entertaining to listen to -- a distinct strength, compared to Marcus's and Moxxi's packs. I really had fun romping around the island while Lilith fawned over Mordecai's new hunting pet.

Of course, it's still all over before you know it. But among the mostly-underwhelming group of Headhunter packs, the eye- and ear-candy definitely makes this one of the good ones.

Better than: Borderlands 2: How Marcus Saved Mercenary Day
Not as good as: Borderlands 2: The Horrible Hunger of the Ravenous Wattle Gobbler
So for those keeping score: from best to worst,

• The main game;
• Tiny Tina's Assault on Dragon Keep;
• Captain Scarlett and Her Pirate's Booty;
• Mr. Torgue's Campaign of Carnage;
• The Horrible Hunger of the Ravenous Wattle Gobbler (which, considering how short it is, is pretty good!);
• Sir Hammerlock vs. the Son of Crawmerax;
• How Marcus Saved Mercenary Day;
• Sir Hammerlock's Big Game Hunt (which, considering how long it is, is pretty bad);
• Mad Moxxi and the Wedding Day Massacre;
• And finally T.K. Baha's Bloody Harvest.